more dreams...

Last night, I struggled to find sleep. I was feeling terrible pains in my stomach...probably gas. But sometimes it would seem like contractions...and my back hurt too, which everyone says that contractions felt in your back are a sign that contractions are REAL and not just Braxton Hicks. But gas sometimes makes my back hurt too. Eventually, I was exhausted and unconcerned enough that I finally fell asleep...

As I entered dreamworld, I drifted through several brief scenes, mostly set in Calvary's old building...I can't remember if or how they were all connected...

...a frustrating rehearsal with my strings students on the day of our concert...

...a momentary flash of memory at the cabin...wandering through the woods with all of my brothers...playing some kind of game...

...a Sunday morning service at Calvary with Pastor Jonathan and all of his children...still singing Christmas songs...

...a very unorganized Cantata...with those black curtains hung all over the walls...my friends and I sneaking under the baptistry through 'the tunnel'...

...a cheerleading practice in the gym....we were trying to remember our cheerleading routine from camp...going through eight-counts...It was a little awkward with my belly,...but I kept up just fine. Then we had a toe-touch (jump) contest. Forgetting somehow that I was eight months pregnant, I attempted a toe-touch. The fact that I haven't done one in well over a year...and that I hadn't stretched at all contributed to my failure...but I think the extra (almost 20 pounds) of weight, carried mostly in my belly had something to do with my pathetic and frightening jump.... I felt terrible for not remembering that I was pregnant...and soon after practice, the result of my stupidity became evident. I could feel Maya's head pressing down. I suddenly realized that those WERE contractions last night....I never should have come here....I've been in labor all this time.
I looked down and could see the top of her head coming out. By the time I reached the doors to the parking lot in the lobby of the church(where Bill LeBaron was waiting with an umbrella to greet me), my mother had found me and was taking me to her....van??
The parking lot was dark, and my Grandma Marge was trying to help us find the vehicle. Maya's whole head was out now, and she was looking at me, smiling, with an exceptionally large head and toddler-like alertness. She had a very goofy grin on her face...and I thought it was strange that she would be responsive enough to smile already. However, I knew, by my keen instincts that we should definitely get to the hospital quickly...and maybe we would have to just go to Hackley instead of Mercy.
But Ryan was nowhere to be found. I stood in the parking lot, screaming and crying... saying, "I can't do this without him!!! You have to find him! He's in the building somewhere....I don't care if you have to interrupt the service...my dad might want to know too!"
By the time we were all in the minivan, Maya was completely out, I was holding her, realizing that we couldn't drive anywhere now...without a car seat!!! but she was still attached to me...with her cord. David jumped out of the car and grabbed a car seat out of an open convertible parked nearby... and we were on our way. We drove and drove (strangely, since Hackley Hospital is next door to the old Calvary building). The whole time, I was hysterically crying and praying...."Thank you God for Maya...but please keep her safe!!"
The rest is very hazy....eventually we arrived at the dimly lit, suspiciously ominous hospital. The green-hued florescent lighting and dirty vacant hallways gave us a strange intuition that something was not right. There was some kind of chase...I was running from someone through hospital corridors and stairwells... and the rest has faded completely.


So far, back in the 'real' world of wakefulness...I have had no symptoms of labor...But I won't try any toe-touches today either. I'm glad that I'll get to see the doctor today...all the fears and unknowns of late pregnancy seem to be disturbing at least my subconscious.

Only five and a half more weeks!!!