envy...

May 5th.
That is when my cousin is due to have her baby. It has been fun to be pregnant at the same time...with due dates only four days apart. But she isn't counting down the days anymore.
Yesterday, she got to hold her baby girl, "Everly." She is perfectly healthy and weighs six pounds and two ounces...not bad for being a month early!

I am so jealous.

However, there are several practical reasons to keep me from wishing that Maya would be born today. I try to go over them frequently. It helps me to at least make an attempt toward patience...

1. Being born a whole month early is really slightly too early. It would be so much better for her lungs and digestive system to have at least another few weeks to develop more. Every day (at least until May 9th) that she stays inside the womb is good for her growth and development.

2. Next week is my violin recital. My students have worked hard to be ready. I really want them to be able to perform. Canceling it would be disappointing.

3. Every day that I can teach up until May 9th is good for my students...they are all preparing for big performances (the Elementary Musical and the MS HS Choir Concert on May 11th). Hopefully, the more time I can spend with them, the more confident and independent they will be when it is time to perform. (Also, if I use more 'sick days' than I have left for maternity leave, my paychecks will start drastically shrinking.)

4. Right now, Ryan and I can still leave home spontaneously, go out with friends easily, finish house projects quickly, see movies, stay up late and sleep in on the weekends. On Saturdays, we can lay in bed, snuggling and chatting lazily as our room is flooded with sunlight in the morning. We've heard that these luxuries will significantly change once Maya is born. Our days to enjoy these decadent pleasures are growing few.

5. I have one more shower...at Calvary on April 22nd. It would be nice to have at least up until that time before she comes to have a few more things ready for her.

....So, I'll keep counting the days and longing for her arrival more fiercely than I ever could have anticipated. I'll probably secretly hold on to my desire to have her early. In fact, all her clothes are washed and ready, her crib bedding is clean and waiting for her, I even have a bag of her clothes packed for the hospital. Maybe I'll go pack my bag too....
How do people deal with late pregnancies? Once May 9th hits, I don't think I'll be able to tolerate the waiting any more. My sanity is not that stable.

But at least I'm trying to be patient and think logically... I'll review my list again.

It doesn't really work.

Only four and a half more weeks!!