Maya's first months of life have passed in a happy blur. There are a few vivid images, feelings, thoughts that are captured forever in my mind. Moments of awe, of pure delight and surprise that I'll never forget...
...moving onto the hospital bed to actually deliver my baby, shocked at how rapidly this was happening...and minutes later staring at a writhing, slimy person who was looking at me, hearing her voice for the first time...trying to comprehend the importance of this moment.
...waking in the middle of the night in a quiet dark room, lit only by a small, dim spotlight....staring at *my* tiny, beautiful baby sleeping in her glass bassinet.
...peeking into Maya's room one sunday morning as I rushed to get ready for church. She looked up at me, smiling for the first time.
But no matter how deeply I long to hold on to every moment, I can't. Sometimes I'll watch her smile and listen to her sweet, gentle voice cooing and laughing. I'm amazed at her every expression. She raises her eyebrows in surprise and wonder. She looks away, smiling and wrinkling her nose-as if she is too shy to even look at me. And I promise myself that I'll never forget this. But usually, I've lost the memory within days....maybe even hours.
Already, I can't remember what it felt like to hold just seven pounds. I can't remember exactly what it felt like when she kicked and stretched inside of me. I can't quite remember ever not knowing and loving her.
She's three months old now, and she's pretty proud of it.
