'a supp-ize!'

As Ryan was putting Maya into the car yesterday, they were 'secretly' talking about the 'surprise' in the bag in the car. Ryan was telling Maya, "now, don't tell Mama about the surprise we got at the store for her for Christmas. Remember the present in that bag?? It's a secret. We'll bring it in the house when we get back and wrap it." As I got into the car, I said, "Maya, do you have a surprise for Mama?"
With her very serious, big eyes she said "supp-ize....inn-nair."
I really like surprises. I hate ruining them. But without expecting true details, just to continue the conversation... I asked, "Maya, what's in there? What's the surprise?"

"Brace," she said proudly. "Supp-ize." Big smile.
Ryan wearily shook his head and sighed, both of us laughing. Yes, it's a bracelet.

But apparently she tried to trick me, to save some of the suspense... by claiming that it's 'yellow.'

This morning, I've been cleaning up the office/Sophia's room.... For a while, Maya kept yelling "OH! OH! OH!" out in the hallway. She chatters a lot these days....so I didn't really stop to wonder too much...until she wandered in and handed me this puzzle piece.




And just now, when I looked for the 'O' to take those pictures.... it was gone. I asked her to get that 'O' for me again. And amongst all her books, random puzzle pieces and toys, she brought it to me again.

Scary.

22 weeks are gone, only 18 (or fewer) remain...

...until Sophia arrives.

She now looks like a miniature newborn, at 10.9 inches and almost 1 pound. Her skin will continue to appear wrinkled until she gains enough weight to fill it out, and the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her head and body is now visible. Her lips are becoming more distinct, and the first signs of teeth are appearing as buds beneath her gum line. Her eyes are developed, though the iris (the colored part of the eye) still lacks pigment. Eyelids and eyebrows are in place, and her pancreas, essential for hormone production, is developing steadily.

Our doctor told us today that the ultrasound pictures from November looked perfect. Sophie's developing organs look just right. He also told me that the 8 pounds I've gained so far were good too...that 10 are actually recommended by now, so I've stopped feeling fat for today :)

I just feel so much 'bigger' than I felt with Maya. Probably the fact that my muscles had just over a year to go back to where they belong and back into shape... makes my now five-month pregnant 'belly' less able to hide Sophie as I could Maya.

I wish I had more time to just sit and think about Sophie's arrival. It doesn't really seem like it's only 18 weeks away! My mind is unable to focus on much beyond the many upcoming deadlines and performances ahead for Christmas.
But in just 9 more school days (3 weeks), I'll be home with Ryan and Maya, celebrating Christmas, enjoying visits from far away siblings, and dreaming about April.

For now though, I have a program order to type, several forms to fill out, a kitchen to clean, a diaper bag to pack for the morning, and a bed that is calling my name.

Meeting Maya's Sibling...

I don't know if it could ever get old to watch a tiny person moving around inside of my body. It just seems so strange and surreal and amazing to see tiny arms and legs pushing and kicking on a computer screen a few feet away..and feel that very squirming person inside my body at the same time. After seeing lots of incredible glimpses of wiggling arms, legs, a beating heart....and waiting patiently as the ultrasound technician took meticulous measurements of heart rate, head, abdomen, each bone in the legs, all from a few different angles... we suddenly saw a beautiful glimse of our daughter's profile. And Ryan and I both gasped. As the technician froze the shot, she began to label the frame, typing..."Kidney" or some official medical abbreviation. We laughed. Apparently she wasn't looking at the same thing that we were when she took the picture. And it didn't come out quite as clearly as what we first saw...what seemed to us to look a lot like Maya's ultrasound profile shots.
But we're still in awe of her (and even if we missed something and it's actually 'him'...we'll still be in awe) and are thoroughly enjoying the first few pictures we have of her face.

Meet Sophia...
This is the first time we saw her profile...(or at least this is the best, though inadequate, still shot from that moment)

I could really feel her feet pushing against me...

The 3D didn't turn out as clearly as with Maya's...Sophie just wouldn't stay still long enough for good pictures...
...but her little fist is pretty clear in this one...

...it was Grandpa Andy!


Grandma Marge was there too....and a puppy, like me!


When we came home, I sat on my front porch to pass out candy. But only my next-door neighbor 'Mo-Mo' (Morgan) came. I gave her a lot of candy.

Then, we went to Noah's house to play with Noah and Ryan's 'choo-choo.'

puppy maya went trick or treating...

Who was behind that door?

Next post coming soon. I think I might go to bed now..even though it's only 8:30.

tomorrow...

...we'll have another morning together at home.

I can't wait.

Since 'feeding the ducks,'...

..I've really grown up.
For example, Chaim Potok has replaced 'Goodnight Moon.' Well, almost replaced it. I still like to read that one three or four times a day.


But I've grown in other ways too. I now prefer spoons and forks over using my fingers...most of the time.

I've been practicing a lot more lately. Since I decided to pull the 'rock-rock' chair over to the piano, it's been easier to use the pedals and play at the same time. It was just so hard to play expressively without the 'sustain' pedal.


I also really love to 'hang out' in Barnes & Noble now. I guess it's the books, the coffee, and the hushed conversations reflecting on great literature and new ideas...
...or maybe I just like the 'Choo-Choo.'

But my biggest new trick involves the potty. . . (I've used it twice now!) . . .and lots of stickers. This one seems to make Mom and Dad the happiest.

This is my 'peek peek' cupboard. I spend a lot of time here during the day...playing, re-arranging, reading, relaxing, drinking my water.







A few saturdays ago, my cousin Emma took me to the park while cousin 'Lee-Lee' played soccer.


Isaac and Will even came too!



..we've been busy.

feeding the ducks

By Saturday, the air was crisp and cold...a perfect fall day for finding pumpkins and sipping fresh apple cider (though I abstained to avoid ecoli).

But on Monday...
...it was summer. And we enjoyed one last picnic in Grand Haven in the 80 degree sun. It felt magical, to walk in October through fallen yellow leaves, sipping an icy blended coffee drink, sweating in the hot sun. We visited the Art Gallery downtown, the toy store, and the deli to buy some bread to feed the ducks.

One of our favorite stories these days has a picture of ducks in a park. For the past month or so, whenever we get to *the* page, we pause and 'throw some bread to the ducks' (ever since our last picnic...where a few left over crumbs were thrown to the ducks in the water). So with all of that practice, Maya turned out to be rather proficient at feeding the ducks. We blew them *lots* of kisses and waved for quite a while when it was time to go home.

Unbelievable!

Maybe my memory isn't clear any more, but I think I could have 'hidden' my first pregnancy almost entirely until around Christmas (when I was almost five months along)...

Apparently second pregnancies can be very different.

This is at 14 weeks...



...and I'm actually *trying* to 'hold it in.'

At fourteen weeks, our baby is probably three and a half inches long (head to bottom) — about the length of a lemon — and weighs about one and a half ounces. By next week, he or she could be around five inches long and might weigh about two ounces. Although the eyelids are fused shut, his or her eyes are now sensitive to light. And sometime in the next few weeks, he or she will be able to hear my voice, though we've already begun English, French, Italian, and Music lessons.

I think I'm even more aware this time around of just how little I understand of how wonderful and heavy and mysterious the process of life is...how entirely unprepared I am for the depth of love that will soon painfully consume me.

And as determined as I am to just *be* in the joy and fear and hope... I am finding it even harder to be aware of the fleeting moments as they pass. The weeks are just racing by.

So even as I long to hold this baby and look into tiny eyes, ...and as part of me lives in the coming April...I'm a little reluctant to say goodbye to right now.

our silly 17 month old