Maya's nose and throat are so full of slime, that she chokes whenever she's trying to eat. She looks up at me with terror as her face turns red and she coughs up her milk mixed with the phlegm that is draining down her throat.
She can *always* sleep at night. For almost a week now, her 8-9 hours of sleeping have turned into ten!
But last night, she woke up three times suddenly, screaming and coughing... her nose dripping and every breath rattling. Struggling to breathe makes trying to fall back to sleep frustrating and slow. We set the alarm twice in the night to check on her again.
It's just a viral infection. And we've done everything the doctor suggested...PediaCare, a cool mist vaporizer, saline drops, nasal aspirators...and she is doing a little better. In fact, she woke up smiling this morning, despite her discomfort.
But I hate hearing her cry in pain and fear. I can't imagine the agony of watching your child truly suffer. Maya has everything she could ever need or want. So far, we have been able to protect her from every real danger, and give her beautiful clothes and toys that make her laugh.
But I know that this 'ability' is only a gift from God...and our control is only an illusion. Someday, something or someone will hurt her, and watching her hurt will seem unbearable. Her first shots gave me a glimpse of that torment. She looked into my eyes as if she was asking me "why? why are you letting this happen?"
So many mothers live with that pain every day...watching helplessly, as their babies cry, starving, weak, and sick..and they are unable to give them anything.
I am wholly and undeservingly blessed.
4 comments:
Well said!
Jen
you just wanted to get some more photos of that beautiful daughter on your blog!
im teasing!
sorry she is feeling yucky. . .
Sooo very cute! That color looks so good on Maya. Hope she is feeling better.
One thing I love about your blog is your ability to put into words some of the many things i feel as a mother.
Post a Comment