...and you will only learn to love it more.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
when your baby is sick,
...the pain is excruciating.
Maya's nose and throat are so full of slime, that she chokes whenever she's trying to eat. She looks up at me with terror as her face turns red and she coughs up her milk mixed with the phlegm that is draining down her throat.
She can *always* sleep at night. For almost a week now, her 8-9 hours of sleeping have turned into ten!
But last night, she woke up three times suddenly, screaming and coughing... her nose dripping and every breath rattling. Struggling to breathe makes trying to fall back to sleep frustrating and slow. We set the alarm twice in the night to check on her again.
It's just a viral infection. And we've done everything the doctor suggested...PediaCare, a cool mist vaporizer, saline drops, nasal aspirators...and she is doing a little better. In fact, she woke up smiling this morning, despite her discomfort.
But I hate hearing her cry in pain and fear. I can't imagine the agony of watching your child truly suffer. Maya has everything she could ever need or want. So far, we have been able to protect her from every real danger, and give her beautiful clothes and toys that make her laugh.
But I know that this 'ability' is only a gift from God...and our control is only an illusion. Someday, something or someone will hurt her, and watching her hurt will seem unbearable. Her first shots gave me a glimpse of that torment. She looked into my eyes as if she was asking me "why? why are you letting this happen?"
So many mothers live with that pain every day...watching helplessly, as their babies cry, starving, weak, and sick..and they are unable to give them anything.
I am wholly and undeservingly blessed.
Maya's nose and throat are so full of slime, that she chokes whenever she's trying to eat. She looks up at me with terror as her face turns red and she coughs up her milk mixed with the phlegm that is draining down her throat.
She can *always* sleep at night. For almost a week now, her 8-9 hours of sleeping have turned into ten!
But last night, she woke up three times suddenly, screaming and coughing... her nose dripping and every breath rattling. Struggling to breathe makes trying to fall back to sleep frustrating and slow. We set the alarm twice in the night to check on her again.
It's just a viral infection. And we've done everything the doctor suggested...PediaCare, a cool mist vaporizer, saline drops, nasal aspirators...and she is doing a little better. In fact, she woke up smiling this morning, despite her discomfort.
But I hate hearing her cry in pain and fear. I can't imagine the agony of watching your child truly suffer. Maya has everything she could ever need or want. So far, we have been able to protect her from every real danger, and give her beautiful clothes and toys that make her laugh.
But I know that this 'ability' is only a gift from God...and our control is only an illusion. Someday, something or someone will hurt her, and watching her hurt will seem unbearable. Her first shots gave me a glimpse of that torment. She looked into my eyes as if she was asking me "why? why are you letting this happen?"
So many mothers live with that pain every day...watching helplessly, as their babies cry, starving, weak, and sick..and they are unable to give them anything.
I am wholly and undeservingly blessed.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
I do this pretty much all day....
...not really. But that's what Ryan thinks. And maybe for good reason. The sheer volume of (practically identical) pictures stored on our computer reveals a pretty obsessive "photo-booth freak."
It IS dreadfully addicting. Pretty much every time she smiles (which is a fairly frequent event), I feel the frantic need to capture her happiness...to preserve it forever. That if I can just take enough pictures,...
... I will be more able to live IN the moment, to value every new experience, to hang on to *something* when everything seems to be changing at a frightening speed, to appreciate all the overwhelming joy of having a new daughter. I know this is a ridiculous theory, a feeble, grasping, and overly-eager parenting fallacy. The kind of thing that parents of multiple children like to make fun of.
I'm worried. I can't stop.
But it's at least kind of normal?
right?
Thursday, July 20, 2006
maya's first friends
Born only a few weeks apart...
...Noah Benjamin (5/26) and Maya Grace (5/2)...
...and Taylor Grace (4/26) and Maya Grace.
And we're hoping to meet Baby Adeline soon too (she's due in just three days)!
...Noah Benjamin (5/26) and Maya Grace (5/2)...
...and Taylor Grace (4/26) and Maya Grace.
And we're hoping to meet Baby Adeline soon too (she's due in just three days)!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
Photo Booth, my favorite feature on our iMac
waiting for Maya
Maya and her Daddy
Maya's Mommy loves her
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