right now

I just put Maya down for her nap and snuck down the hall to catch up on a few blogs. I was just reading these words of my friend, 'nittygritty' that seem to echo my own feelings so precisely.


...and think that this moment- this day- is something I will think back on and wish I could get back for just a little longer not too many years from now. It's like I close my eyes and pretend that this is my past and then I savor it even more. Realizing the present moment is here for me to cherish is really an amazing thing. No matter how routine the schedule may be. These little things...

She was writing about a day spent at Kindergarten with her girls. As I read, I was internally nodding my head...thinking about motherhood..and Maya...but also the way I sometimes feel frantic about remembering the pleasure of walking in warm sand, the smell of the woods, the way the light flickers through trees blowing in the wind, the excitement and warmth of sitting on my living room floor in the light of the Christmas tree carefully wrapping presents for people I love, sipping coffee from a big mug while being squished on the couch with my brothers and sisters talking, the sound of eggs sizzling in the pan and Jack Johnson's voice drifting down the stairs while Ryan plays with Maya on the floor...


...but as my mind wandered while I read, reminiscing all these other really happy things, I snapped into the 'now.' And I listened to my Maya, who is not sleeping in her crib down the hall. Instead, she is happily yelling, whispering, talking to her dolls. I wish I could see her without disrupting her 'alone time'...and ruining my hope that she will eventually... nap.

But I know that these amazingly sweet sounds will be replaced soon with more 'intelligible' words. That process has already begun.
But for now, I'll silently smile to myself and try to savor this...

"BABY! BABY! SA-sha......mmmmhhh...bah-bah...deedeedeedee, dar, dar,... pooh, twah. zoo.
baybay,beebee....dada...dedah, dada. dadahhhh!! dada."

monday morning kisses for you

Introducing...

...Maya's baby brother or sister.
Due to arrive April 7th, 2008.
Yes, that's the head on the right. And all the way to left, you can kind of see little legs!

I've been posting, they've just been hidden for a couple of months...
So, if you'd like to read more, scroll down. There all there now!

nine weeks tomorrow.

So, the due date is official. According to the ultrasound yesterday, the baby is scheduled to arrive April 7th, 2008.

We could see the tiny heart beating, and even caught a quick glimpse of a little wiggle. The head was easy to spot, and even the tiny little legs were pretty clear at times. The pictures look kind of like black and white blurs, but according to the professionals...

...he or she is nearly an inch long — barely the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. The baby has earlobes, and by week's end, the inner workings of his or her ears will be complete. The upper lip is fully formed, too, and the mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. All major joints — shoulders, elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles — are working, enabling the baby to move his or her limbs. As for the heart, it has divided into four chambers now, and the valves have started to develop.

As for me...
I'm tired, grumpy, less gracious, overly sensitive, and finding that even my best efforts toward productivity are pathetic and futile.
But really. I'm very happy. Just not *feeling* it today :)

In fact, I actually threw up for the first time. I forgot how traumatic and terrible the actual process is...but I was shocked and grateful at how much better I felt when it was all over. I could give more details. But I won't.

Pictures coming soon....