a secret I've been keeping...

...there's a baby inside of me. A mysterious person growing inside my body.

I suppose you'll see all of these posts at the same time, when we finally decide to share our "babysecret...number two."

We'll leave in about an hour to go to our first official visit with Dr. Karnes.
And we'll also get to see the baby!!!

I remember the moment when we first saw Maya's heart beating. She was hardly even half an inch long (only 6 weeks), but she had a heart, and it was already pumping blood. I didn't really feel pregnant yet, and I half expected them to be unable to find anything... and tell me I was crazy, the tests were wrong, there was no baby.
But there she was. And our lives were never the same.

She is now this little person, with her own sense of humor, a determined will, a(n almost) constant sweet expression, a patient and gracious temperament. She blows kisses, and generously gives butterfly kisses and 'Eskimo' kisses, she runs all over the place, laughing 'uh oh' when she falls. She gently calls for "mama" when she wakes up in the morning. And asks "peas" so irresistibly that you can't refuse her request for a story, or "cheeeeessssse"(said with a wrinkled nose and all her teeth showing), or more toast. Her ability to verbally identify things around her expands every day. And new things (which seem to be everywhere she goes) are usually greeted with sparkling eyes, and a wide open mouth of shock and wonder, her lips curled in over her teeth, and she breathes a happy gasp. She questions me with her eyes for the right word..."what is this new thing mom?? it is AMAZ-ing!"...Most recently, it was "cow, Maya. That is a cow. A real cow." "T-oww" she determinedly repeats. "MMMMMMMooo," she says with a silly grin. Knowing too well that she is impressive and cute.

But I don't really have any stories about her new sibling yet. He or she is still a stranger. A complete mystery. It's hard to remember that feeling. It seems like I always knew Maya. That she's just always been. I can't imagine her not being.

And yet I know there really is a person growing in me. And soon I'll never understand not knowing him or her.
Even though, it's hard to comprehend this new life, he or she has made their presence known. That is undebatable. I've never felt so constantly nauseous, picky about food, nauseous, tired, nauseous, exhausted....nauseous.

Ugh. talking about it makes it worse.

And now I have to go drink 32 ounces of water!!

I'm sure a picture will follow soon. And we'll probably even post our secret within the week.