There were never such devoted sisters...

maya can read

2011-03-04T18:15:00.000-08:00

Maya just read her first book tonight.

And I loved listening to every word of it, "Best Friends," a Scholastic "BOB" book.

"Sally, a circle, was best friends with a square named Seth.
Wherever Sally went, Seth went too.
Whatever Sally liked, Seth liked too...."

We giggled together in shock and delight after every completed page. When we finished, she fell asleep fast... and happily, proud of her exhausting accomplishment.

Every time I watched her mouth moving...sounding out words, her eyes scanning the page, searching for clues in the pictures, her quiet voice, focused...re-reading the previous words to find context...I was in awe of this process.

It felt like magic.

"hey, Elmo?"

2011-01-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

"...um, I have you up in my room. And you're a doll...like in my bed...and um...Elmo? you're a doll."

He didn't reply...the DVD just continued....and he kept right on singing. I'm not sure if she was surprised or disappointed or if it was exactly as she expected...he is after all, a doll.

While putting pajamas on a Halloween-candy-sugared-up "Cinderella" Sophia...

2010-10-31T18:41:00.000-07:00

...she pretends to be already asleep and rolls over on the floor.

Me: Oh Sophie's asleep!
Sophie: I'm dead.
Me: Oh no!
Sophie: A mean Cinderella got me dead.
Me: A mean Cinderella?
Sophie: Mm hm. I'm an ACORN!!
A chocolate ACORN!!
And you are my muddah...okay? I'm da baby acorn...(makes little "ee ee" baby...acorn? noises) and you are my muddah.

reading with Sophie

2010-10-13T18:17:00.000-07:00

Sophie has always loved books. Since she was very little, she would sneak off to her bedroom and sit in the corner behind her door, quietly "reading" amidst the pile of books freshly pulled from her shelf. The first time I found her there, my heart melted. I hope her love for reading is a part of Sophie's life forever.
Over the last few months, she's really developed her storytelling skills. She picks up book after book, "reading" out loud. Her plots are always different and surprising...and so fun to hear (if you are lucky enough to hear one...she usually reads quite softly). Sometimes her version of the story includes quotes from the text, and sometimes the story is similar to the author's version, but usually she just makes it up fresh each time. Every once in a while she invites us to listen, and we might hear something like this...
"O-tay. You weddy? I'll weed dis one to you. It's about...ummm....a littow duck....otay. you weddy? ....Once upon a time, day was a litto duck....enn...he said, "Hi Momma...I wanna doe swing, otay?" Enn da Momma said, "NO. You tant!" enn he cwide and cwide...enn his Momma said..."otay. You CAN!" It's otay. Don't cwy! You tan! Yo Momma said you TAN! Dee END."

Last night, after we finished Sleeping Beauty (for the 8th night in a row) she wanted to read Scuffy the Tugboat to me in bed. This time, the "story" turned into a teaching moment...

Sophie: "Otay Momma. Way da tugboat?"
Me: (pointing to the tuboat)
Sophie: "Good. Way da guys?"
Me: (pointing to the guys in the picture)
Sophie: "Good. Way da twees?"
Me: (pointing to the trees)
Sophie: "Good Momma! Good girl! Way da houses?..."

I can save da day!

2010-08-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

Maya was desperate to find her little dollhouse baby. She was certain she had brought it downstairs last night. She checked all over...in the window sill...all over the living room, the kitchen. No dollhouse baby. "Momma can you look for her while I go potty? It's that little one, you know, the orange baby...the one from your dollhouse. Will you look for her?? I can't find her ANYwhere!"

Sophie: (still at the table, finishing her breakfast) Maya, I can help you. I can save da day!

Maya: Oh, Sophie. (shaking her head)

Sophie: (earnest and persistent) I can! I can help you. I'll save da day!!

Maya: (very condescendingly with some frustration) Sophie, you CAN't save the day! It's not like...we're super! It's not like we're superheros or anything!

one of my favorite sounds

2010-07-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

Sophie's happy sleepy voice. (while laying on her pillow tonight...)

"Mama, I yun-you-a hole my hee-ann." (translation: Mama, I want you to hold my hand.)

It's impossible to resist. So I hold her tiny fingers...all wrapped around my thumb. For a long while. And all the time I'm thinking about how lucky I am...how fleeting and wonderful is this moment.

And when I finally say, "okay, Sophie, it's time to go to sleep now"...

...and she says, "Mama, hole my hee-ann peas?"...

...and I say, "I will, Sophie..in the morning when you wake up."

...she just flutters her sleepy eyes, smiles and sighs, "okay."

Sometimes, bed time is perfect.

Our car ride was getting really loud...

2010-06-03T20:52:00.001-07:00

All the way home from Nana's house, Sophie just kept yelling...not words really. Some singing, some shouting silly nonsense...just yelling.

Maya was getting fed up.

She asked nicely. She yelled louder. She shouted angrily.

Then.

She had a better idea.

"Here Sophie, put this [small piece of paper] over your mouth....then you won't be so loud."

The giggling Sophie complied, saying "okay" and using both hands to hold the paper against her mouth. Then, she just yelled some more...though the sound was a bit muffled.

"...they brushed their teeth and went to bed..."

2010-05-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

...and when Maya woke up the next morning, she came downstairs eager to tell me that she had made her trundle bed all by herself! I was delighted to discover this lovely sight when I checked later in the day. We've had three days in a row of this routine (completely initiated by Maya herself!).

Farmer Boy

2010-05-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

(in the car yesterday)

Maya: Momma, can we keep "Farmer Boy"?
Me: Yes, Maya. I bought it...at the used book sale at school. I bought it for you...so we can keep it.
Maya: YOU BOUGHT IT?!?!?! OH! I am so excited. We can keep it! Then... when my children are big, I can read it to them! They will love it too. ...I told Go-Go she could be one of my children, because she wanted to. Then I'll have big sister Angela and baby Angela and Go-Go..and I'll read it to them. When they're big. And I'll pray for them. I've been praying for them...the children that God will give me....
Me: (brimming with pride and happiness at her cuteness and sweetness and thoughtful plans for her future children) I think you'll be a really good mom someday, Maya.
Maya: I think Sophie will be too. She'll be so funny! She'll make her baby laugh all the time. She's so funny. She'll be a good Momma someday.

maya's braids

2010-05-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

Poor sophie...

2010-05-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

went to Dr. Tom's today to tell him, "I have cough..ten. you. help. me?"

Her cough has just been so persistent for at least a month, getting only slightly better for a few days, and always returning. She's had a few prescriptions for her cough. They've helped a little.
We've been thinking allergies might be to blame.

Last night at my choir concert she was really warm too. So Ryan took her in today, while I went to direct my elementary students' musical.

The diagnoses: Allergies + Asthma + Ear Infection

Poor little sweetie. And she's been so good despite all her pain and struggle to breathe.

Her first nebulizer treatment went well (thanks to Blue's Clues)...but everyone who told us that the albuterol might induce hyper activity was right. The feverish lethargic little baby I'd been cuddling on the couch suddenly became quite chatty, rattling off stories until 9:30...recalling as many details from the day as possible and using strange new language like "Yeah! Cool Daddy!"

She started to calm down a bit as I scooped her up to carry her to her bed. Then she grinned at me mischievously and said, "Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas. I Santa. You laugh. okay? Ho Ho Ho. You laugh now, Mama. I Santa Claus."

"What's Isaac and Will's daddy's name?"

2010-05-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Maya: (urgently entering Sophie's room wearing pajamas, a pink tutu, fairy wings, sunglasses, and a santa hat) MOMMA! What is Isaac and Will's daddy's name?
Me: (changing Sophie into her pajamas) Uncle Daniel
Maya: yeah..Uncle Daniel. Okay let's pretend that you're teaching Uncle Daniel how to walk, okay? And I'll be the big sister. And this bucket has candy in it...and pretend that he tries to eat all my candy. Okay? Sophie? You be Uncle Daniel. And I'll be the big sister. Come try to take this bucket.
(Sophie stays on the floor. It's okay. Maya changes the script.)
Maya: Wow! It's really hot this Halloween! I can't believe how hot it is!! (peeling off wings and several layers of clothing).....Um...What's Isaac and Will's daddy's name??...

sweet surprises

2010-05-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the girls went with their Nana and Papa to a greenhouse to get some flowers for me. When they returned, Maya kept saying (with a sneaky grin), "There's NOTHIN' for you! I'm NOT gonna say ANYTHING!" And Sophie told me several times, "I got peasant fo' you. It's a suppise!"
They each chose a different potted plant for me. Maya chose a few little white flowers, for herself, she said. Though this morning, she decided to give those to me too.

Today, Ryan made Yorkshire Pudding for breakfast, then took the girls shopping for me.
We feasted at my parents house, celebrating Mothers, Grandmothers, and Maya, Emma, and my Dad's birthdays.
Ryan took his mom out for a shopping date while Maya and I began to clean out my old dollhouse (just retrieved from my parents 'attic'.)

Ryan tried hard to keep the girls quiet this morning so I could sleep in a little, but they were having a rough time and just wanted their Momma. I felt so lucky to run up the steps to hold two snuggly, warm, sleepy girls who immediately wrapped their arms around me and buried their heads in my shoulders.

The mystery friend from Cubbies and Sunday School

2010-05-07T11:40:00.000-07:00

Maya:"I'm going to marry Mikey."
Me: "Do you ever talk to Mikey?"
Maya: "No, but he's my best friend....I told Adeline about Mikey....so...she knows about him."
Me: "What do you like about Mikey? Do you just like his name?"
Maya:"I like his name. And I like what he does."
Me: "Oh. What does he do?"
Maya: (smiling shyly)"um....he pretends that he's DEAD! (strange giggle)...and he plays with the other boys. He plays rough. (thoughtful pause) But I'll teach him how to be gentle."

"Do all things...

2010-05-06T18:21:00.001-07:00

...without complaining or arguing."

I taught Maya these words of wisdom from Philippians this week. I'm not sure if it is because she has been putting them in her 'heart'...or if I have been really trying to be a better example of this (incredibly difficult) teaching.... (Unfortunately, both complaining and arguing are some of my strongest skills.)

...but for whatever reason, we've had a beautiful day today...smooth, fun, delightfully calm, and full of surprising sisterly acts of kindness.

Thank you Paul.

my birthday girl

2010-05-02T20:03:00.001-07:00

She's four and so grown up. All day I've been telling her stories about the day that she was born. "And were you so happy? Was I really cute?" she asks. She's looking over my shoulder right now, looking at the pictures I've posted..."is that when I was three?"

She's been very excited about her birthday, but a little bit nervous about being four. For weeks she's been asking questions about "when I'm four".....fishing for details, "but I'll still be me right? I'll still be a little girl? Like....just like this, right? Can I still wear the same clothes and stuff?"

We've been celebrating all weekend...visiting the Fredrick Meijer Gardens' Butterfly Exhibit, the John Ball Park Zoo, hot dogs from G & L, a visit to the beach, and lots of time with friends and cousins, Aunts and Uncles, Grandmas and Grandpas (thanks for the fun birthday party, Isaac and Will!)

Maya is becoming a prolific artist, drawing pictures of people (usually me), designing playgrounds, and working on her letters. There are layers of drawings on our fridge these days. Most of all, she loves to pretend. All day long, she's speaking in several different voices (my favorite is her semi-British accent), narrating some sort of tragedy to and with her imaginary characters. Her favorites are Laura and Mary (Ingalls), and Mikey (a mysterious friend from church that she seems to be fascinated with, but has never spoken to). Several times a day, she says "can we play baby Mikey? Pretend I was just born. Say: look it's a baby....we haven't named him yet...let's call him Mikey." She's asked if maybe Mikey could come over to play or spend the night. But whenever I ask about him, she insists that they've never spoken. She just knows his name because "the teacher says it all the time."

We just finished reading Little House on the Prairie a couple of nights ago (back when she was three), and tonight we start book 3, Farmer Boy. So it's time to go put my big four year old to bed.

On our way home from church Friday night...

2010-04-05T11:01:00.001-07:00

Sophia: "I got it. I got boo-gah!.....You like boogahs Daddy?"

Ryan: (driving) "um..not really Sophie. No thanks."

Sophia: "Oh. I eat it."

Ryan: No!!! Sophie...don't eat it. We don't eat boogers."

Sophia: (smiling) "I want nudderone bugah."

Sophia Marie Elise

2010-03-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

She's turning two tomorrow.

Happy Birthday to my sweet, funny, talkative, spunky, determined, curious, climbing, energetic, delightful, thoughtful, loving Sophie.

I used to spend so much time...

2010-02-09T18:09:00.000-08:00

...just thinking about the marvels of motherhood. Breathing in that smell of baby shampoo... and photographing every new expression on my baby's face. I tried to write down or record every sound Maya made...and I think I wrote down every new thought that I had about my life as a Mother. And back then...I had time to blog about these things several times a week.

I'll never live up to that 'first child' precedent. Motherhood doesn't involve quite so much sitting and cuddling on the couch as it did for a while. It's really more like chasing and catching and picking up and playing and correcting and pretending and encouraging and running and wiping up gross things and laughing and sighing (or screaming?) in frustration and sweeping and listening... (and I only have two girls!) But never just sitting and thinking.

Now, I still revel in the surreal sounds of my girls talking and laughing (They are so ridiculous and fun together). And I still use baby shampoo on their hair. (I think I'll stretch that out as long as possible.) And I am every bit as mesmerized by the uniqueness of Sophia as I was with her big sister. They both surprise and delight me every day.

But far fewer of these delights make it onto this blog.

Still....I'm treasuring "all these things in my heart".... Unfortunately, you just don't get to see as many pictures or hear quite so many stories of all the funny conversations we have every day.

So...here are a few random bits I'll share from my overfilled brain files of "remember these things"....(I'd probably forget them if I didn't share them ....hoarding never works out well for me anyways.)

*************************

Sophie talks about "Gate Papa" all the time now. For about a week after we visited "Gate Nana Jean" and "Gate Papa" she would start taking about them almost every time we put our coat and shoes on. "I go dare now...see Gate PAPA!! Gate Papa's house now, Momma. Go dare." It is a pretty magical place.

Sophie is working on quitting her "baba" habit (pacifier). We really haven't worked at this very much at all...but it's definitely time. Ryan told her tonight that "Doctor Tom" said that she was getting too big to have her "baba" now. And she sadly said "okay." Her unexpected sweet compliance broke Ryan's heart a little.

Maya is sleeping with a warm rice sock to ease her freshly diagnosed ear infection. She loves the warm rice sock. But I miss it. I think we'll have to make another one. She seems to be on the mend. It's been a rough week and a half of coughing, difficult sleeping, lots of Kleenex, and 2 missed ballet classes.

Maya and I have just started reading real "chapter books" together at bed time. Tonight, she found a pretty pink satin ribbon to mark our spot in "Little House in the Big Woods."

Sophie's "day-day" has now matured into a crystal clear "thank-you"...it's pretty adorable and a little sad to lose those baby sounds. She puts several words together quite often. Pointing to something...then smiling and explaining what she's thinking about... "Dada gave dat a me." or "Go-go has dat too." or "Nana sings dat one" "Sissy, I need dat book!!!!!" "Maya Gace wait (wake) up now"

We made molasses cookies tonight. I've been thinking for months now about these soft gingery cookies that my Mom used to make. The girls helped me dip the little brown balls of dough into sugar before they arranged them on the cookie sheets. Baking all together is starting to be really fun. Though Sophie would love to just dump all the ingredients into the bowl herself. She started first by just shaking the baking soda into every measuring cup and bowl she could find...in about 3 seconds.

Last week, we had a "girls' night" sleepover at our house (while Ryan was in Montreal). Aunt Katie and cousin Chloe, Katie and Willow and Ginger, and Maya and Sophie and I had stromboli for dinner. Then, we wildly filled our house with violin playing, dress-up, quite sophisticated pretend plots, laughter, shushing children to keep other children asleep, reminiscing, and not much sleep. I think everyone left happily exhausted.

Cousin Chloe and Kelly were in Michigan for two whole wonderful weeks. They left today. Maya and Sophie were enamored with their beautiful baby cousin. They were overwhelmingly entertaining and nurturing too. We all loved watching Maya make her baby cousin laugh. She was very persistent in her efforts to amuse Chloe (whom she lovingly called "Little One") with silly voices and crazy faces, rhyming, and jumping...

Sophie has been talking about the "elligater" ever since Grandma Go-Go took her on an escalator and an elevator in one magical day. She also took them to a pool that day. Hard to beat. A few days later, at Calvary's Homecoming game, Sophie watched from afar as her beloved cousin Emma got onto the elevator with her friends...without Sophie. The injustice tortured her all night long...and for a few days afterward...she told everyone she met with sad, pleading eyes about the "elligator...Emma...up." I think we'll need to have an elevator adventure soon.

So far in 2010...

2010-01-18T17:25:00.000-08:00

....we've been enjoying a schedule that is slightly slower than the exhausting pace of last fall. I'm not taking any classes this semester, so my 9 hour work week is a pleasant change for our whole family. Hopefully when summer arrives I'll be ready for that Lansing commute again.

We've spent more time with friends and family, visiting Grandparents and hearing stories. We've even had a few quiet weekends at home, staying warm, playing hide-and-go-seek, reading books, doing puzzles, dancing around the living room, pretending, sipping 'tea' out of toy cups, making cake and tabouli in the pretend kitchen, and Ryan and I watching This American Life episodes during Sunday afternoon "nap-time" and foreign films on netflix at night on our laptop.

When Sophie is awake, life is exciting and exhausting and constantly surprising. Tonight, Ryan found the memory card for our camera precariously balancing on the toilet seat. Sophie had been potty training one of Maya's dolls and needed to snap a few photos for the baby book. Her vocabulary is expanding rapidly due to her assertive personality which requires her to articulate all day long what she needs and wants to do.... "I need dat." "Hode me momma." "I need juice!!" " I need meewk." "No, I do dat...I do it! ME!" And her new favorite phrase to yell in public if she wants freedom to run, "LET ME GO!" Unfortunately, she knows it's funny to all the strangers within hearing distance, so she smiles, repeating it louder and louder.

We've been eating lots of tabouli and hummus (Sophie's favorite food) when we need to remember how summer felt...or tasted. But we're also enjoying the warm winter roasts and stews and chili our slow cooker has provided.

And since I'm thinking about food...Ryan and I have found a new addiction to a bowl of Korean soup called Jam Bong at the Egg Roll House. I think about it...and kim chi..all the time.

A little too frequently lately, Ryan and I split a bowl of this warm and spicy, seafood-filled broth with perfect noodles while Maya practices her chop-stick skills on rice and chicken and vegetables (and Sophie spreads rice all over the floor). I think we were actually there twice last week (it couldn't have been three times??).

In other news, Sophie is sleeping in her converted "Big Girl Bed" these days. She is pretty proud to climb in all by herself just like Maya. And, though she doesn't really use it, she's very serious about her new ownership of a pillow.

The Big Bad Wolf

2010-01-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

Sophie has been running around all day blowing and shouting very earnestly with big scary eyes....

"I'll fluff!

and I'll puff!

and I'll fuff!

and I'll huff!

and I'll BLOOOOWWWW!!
a how' down!

you......PIG!

Hi!"

Typing my paper....I was looking for the right word..

2009-12-10T06:39:00.000-08:00

and I said, Maya, what's a word that means, like, to cause something...to make something happen, to have an effect...??

I didn't expect an answer, though she offered "rapido." An interesting interpretation, I thought.

So when I decided on "influence," I asked her if she knew what it meant. I explained that it was like how what I do and think and say has an effect on her...that for example, my loving music, might influence her to love music. That "I have an influence on you", I said.

Maya: And I have an influence on you.

Me: Right, exactly! That's true. (wondering if she really understood or if it was just her tendency to have a quick and smart reply to everything...wherever could that trait come from??)

Maya: and we have an influence on other people too....all over the world.

???

The Eric Carle Museum

2009-12-01T17:24:00.000-08:00

I think I've mentioned before how much we really like The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

So when Ryan discovered this place very near Kelly and Sean's home in Massachusetts, we were pretty excited. It was the day before Thanksgiving, so the place was pretty quiet. The exhibits were great, but we also loved the library, art room, giant caterpillar, and gift shop.

Sophie fell in love with the "pillar."

More about Massachusetts, Kelly, Sean, and baby Chloe to come later....

A First!

2009-11-05T17:16:00.001-08:00

A regrettable first.

I missed a whole month of blogging about my children. I've never let my blogging habit slip quite so much.

Oh... the guilt I could pile upon myself. But I don't have the energy or the time.

So instead, here are some pictures from our October...

On our way to a very elegant wedding at the Hope College Dimnent Chapel

Our first annual visit to Lewis Farm with some good friends.

Boyne Mountain weekend with the Peoples in adjoining condos...quite decadent (in a chasing-four-small-kids-at-a-waterpark-but-we-can-still-stay-up-late-and-have-adult-conversations kind of way)... REALLY fun.

The cutest Halloween Penguin and Dalmation you've ever seen getting ready for their cold "hay ride" at the Kamps.

A leisurely Sunday breakfast...(I think this was officially November...but oh how I love when we 'fall back')

favorite new Sophie words

2009-09-13T21:08:00.001-07:00

"all-lo?" (hello)
"app--peee" (happy)
"shoes"
"Eye-yah" (Maya)
"noh" (nose)
"Eyye"
"Mowww" (Mouth)
"Eee" (Ear)
"Baby"
"dainty" (Thank you)
"Bell-lay" (Ballet)
"play"
"Bah-lay, Bah-lay" (blanket)
"app-jew" (apple juice)
"milk"
"book"

She loves saying names of family members too. I won't list them all here. But she's got most of them down. Hardly any of them rank, though, with "Go-Go" or "Emma" both of which are repeated at LEAST 20 times a day.

We sing the Doxology at most meals. Sophie usually gets us started by singing the first "Praise..." and then she just listens with eager smiling eyes to Maya's loud voice belting out the rest. When we get to the end ("Amen")...Sophie confidently joins in.... shouting "Emma! EMMA! EMMA!" ....which of course reminds her of .... "Go-go...Go-go..."

Unfortunately though, even with her advancing vocabulary, "NO" is still a favorite word...often screamed in a rather demonic sort-of monster voice over and over again. She thinks it's hilarious... mostly because it drives her sister crazy...especially in the car. Maya tries hard to respond with kind words, "Sophie, don't talk that way....sweetie....talk nice" "Sophie....please stop saying that" "Sophie...say 'yes'...don't say that."

Eventually though...the unnerving sound gets to her... and Maya's face tightens, her teeth clench..."SOPHIE! STOP THAT!!....RRRRR"

then back to..."Sophie..here....do you want this toy?" "Sophie..hi...I love you."

"Momma, Sophie is pee-pee-ing!"

2009-09-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

It's true.

The two girls were sitting on the potties together in our red bathroom, Maya on the big potty and Sophie on the small one. Sophie loves to sit on the potty like her big sister. She often tells me when she wants to use the 'pot-pot' or if she's busy with 'poo-poo'. Usually when I let her sit, she still has all her clothes on though...it just isn't usually worth all the trouble. But this time I let her try it, no diaper. I was just outside the door clearing the dishes from lunch...when Maya yelled...

"Momma! Sophie is pee-pee-ing!!!"

After lots of smiles, cheers, applause, we made a few phone calls.... Daddy. Two grandmas.

Sophie is pretty proud of herself. She knows this is big.

I've been breathing more slowly these days....

2009-08-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Settling into our slow schedule (just before it ends). Baking too much. Playing a lot. Folding laundry. And remarkably, having a somewhat clean house....at least today.
Yesterday we celebrated summer with Grandma Go-Go, shopping in downtown Grand Haven, though...not actually buying anything. My mom and I agreed about how much we both love beautiful paper, still refraining from making any purchases. Maybe we were feeling bad about eating such an expensive lunch on the open porch of the Kirby Grill.
After said lunch, we all walked down to Chinook Pier to catch the trolley. Breathing-in the delightful wind that blew through the huge open windows of the trolley, Sophie blinked...no, fluttered her eyes happily. She loved this. The homemade cookie-dough ice cream probably added to the magic of the ride. Since it was long after the usually nap time, I was certain that they'd both fall asleep on the ride home. Instead, they both giggled and teased each other in the back seat, and as we pulled back into our driveway, Maya reminded us all with a panicky voice...that we had forgotten the promised (bribe) carousel ride! So..since she had been a kind sister, and a very contended, not-whiny child on our adventure, we turned around and drove to the Cinema as promised. She rode an orange horse named 'Mo' and I rode the brown 'Molly' beside her. Sophie cowered in Go-Go's arms on the little sleigh behind us. It is a really fast carousel ride. I always forget how wonderfully dizzying it is.

Soon, the dizzying grad school/teaching schedule will probably tighten my breathing again, but for now, we're still enjoying this laziness.

I'm starting to smell the fresh bread that's rising....

2009-07-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

I just can't keep up....

2009-06-03T20:29:00.001-07:00

...with Sophie's rapid changes this month...this week.

She just seems more aware, more intelligent every day. Less like a baby, and more like a tiny little person with a developing sense of humor.

She's been sitting longer for stories...whole books, and sometimes several in a row. She really pays attention to Elmo's voice or Cookie Monster (she's actually the only member of my family that thinks my attempts are even valid at Cookie Monster or Elmo's voices, though I can perform a very convincing 'Zoe'). She eagerly answers Elmo's questions by pointing to the right picture, laughing with excitement..... or possibly, she is just laughing at how silly I sound.

She has this new face of shared humor...both hands covering her mouth, which is open wide showing her few and very crooked teeth, as she snickers and wrinkles her nose, eyes sparkling. It is so. cute.

I love laughing with her.
Usually when I walk into her room to get her up, she's standing at the end of her crib, jumping up and down, dancing with her shoulders, the light is on...because she can reach the switch from her crib, and she is laughing wildly. And of course, I can't stop laughing either.

We read several animal stories today, lots of dogs and cats. In fact one of her new words today was "doggy". She of course, loves books about animals and the sounds they make. And lately, she's been eagerly trying to imitate more of their sounds... "Baaah," and "Meeeowwwweeeeeowwwwww," and "Cheep cheep," and her favorite...

"Rrrrrahrrrr."

It's actually not very loud; it's more like a whisper. A very serious whisper-y growl.

She's always loved anything that roars. Our soft lion mask has been a favorite toy/costume of hers for a while now. When she puts it on, all you can see are her big eyes behind the holes in the mask. She crawls around delightedly 'scaring' us with her ferocious 'growl.'

more of our month of may...

2009-05-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

...mostly in pictures. (again)

Sophia has been changing so much in the last few weeks. She seems more eager to interact socially ...not that she's ever been shy.
But she seems to be listening and trying to discriminate more carefully how words are formed and how to attach meaning to the things around her.
Her big cousin Emma taught her to hold up one finger in response to the question, "How old are you, Sophie?" For a while, whenever she saw Emma, and only when she saw Emma, she held up her one finger proudly. Now she shows everyone. She loves her impressive trick.

She also loves to wave to everyone (and even inanimate things) we see. It still sounds surprising even to me, whenever she so clearly articulates "Hi!" with her small and feathery soft voice.

Her gibberish also seems to be getting more serious, complex, and 'sophisticated'...and more imitative of our language. But she still really loves it when I respond to her in 'her' language with "doogle, doogle, oooh, bah-da, bop, pshoo, ....etc...." :)

Maya's new favorite word lately seems to be, "what?" My ears have become so immune to it, that I sometimes find myself repeating the same thing to her 5 times in a row...before I realize that she did in fact hear me the first time, she's just testing her powers. She thinks she's hilarious when she 'teases' us.

Her favorite story lately is Little Red Riding Hood. She has memorized much of the musical version that my students performed earlier this month. And we act it out at least once daily. We love to include other willing family and friends in our shows too (Uncle Andy made a great wolf...sinister and convincing. Similarly, Uncle Sean was described by Maya as "really silly, but... kinda scary").
This week, my students at school gave me a storybook of the 'real' Little Red fairy tale , beautifully illustrated, and signed by all of them. It's a pretty dark story. The wolf eats Granny and Little Red, and the heroic Hunter holds up his gun to the sleeping wolf's chest, then on second thought takes out his knife and slices open his belly rescuing Granny and Little Red.

I was hesitant to read it to Maya without editing, but she's pretty perceptive of my occasional attempts to alter what's written. So I read it on Tuesday when I came home from school. And by Wednesday, we'd read it so many times that she was familiar enough to correct any words I may have tried to skip. She still pretends to be scared rather melodramatically...I think she actually was a little nervous the first few times we read it, but she kinda likes to be scared (in a very 'safe' sort-of way)...

I wouldn't exactly call her a risk-taker, but she is a bit of a 'thrill seeker'.

2009-05-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

Sophia took....

2009-05-14T19:57:00.000-07:00

...seven steps tonight!

She's been stubbornly refusing to walk for a few weeks now. She can walk, she just won't let go of our fingers. She'll stand for a long time without help...but if she wants to go anywhere, she sits down....then crawls.

But tonight she did it. Again and again.

And I think she likes walking.

Maya turned three today.

2009-05-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

And she was so excited that she could hardly eat her breakfast.

She'd like for you to think that she is a poor, sad, lonely child here. But no sympathy is needed. She is always acting out a very dramatic story. After I took this one, she asked to see it. I think she was pleased with the way I captured her 'convincing' look of despair.

After we got dressed and ready....

...three (approximately three-year-old) friends came to celebrate Maya's birthday.

We had a lovely lunch.

Happy Birthday, Maya, my now sleeping three-year-old.

i meant to post this long ago...

2009-04-30T18:25:00.001-07:00

...but the phase ended and I forgot.

And suddenly today, Maya reminded me. For a brief moment, she brought them back into circulation.

For quite a while, Maya was obsessed with using a couple of nonsensical words. These 'words' could mean anything and everything. They could be used as verbs, nouns, names, adjectives... or just for 'filler.'

I had completely forgotten about this phase; it lasted about 2 months, I think.

But tonight, Maya slipped into her
"Doop-doop" and "Dub-dub" language.

For example:

"Um, I forgot to...ah get my doop-doop....so ah.....(dismissively) ehh....dubdub."

"..annnnd ah. ya know (funny twisted face), dub dub, & stuff."

"Um Sophie. you tant dub dub, o-tay???"

"Dat's my doop doop."

We'd ask all the time about their meaning and origins. But we'd usually be answered with more "doop doop" and "dub dub".

the glass house

2009-04-29T11:46:00.001-07:00

On Saturday morning, after our breakfast of oranges, toast, and scrambled eggs with sausage, mushrooms, and cheese, we packed the car with sippy cups, snacks, diapers, an umbrella, the camera, and 2 strollers. Maya was very excited to see the 'glass house' with gardens and butterflies inside. The Frederick Meijer Gardens did not disappoint her high expectations.

When we arrived, it was warm but the air was thick and wet. We hurried through the parking lot and just as we walked in the doors, the rain let loose. Forceful, sideways rain. We weaved through the indoor gardens and sculptures until we arrived at the 'detox' chamber where we had to 'check' our sealed juice boxes before entering the butterflies domain. When we left the butterflies, the rain suddenly cleared... just long enough for a sunny visit to the whimsical outdoor play area and gardens. A giant bird's nest with eggs, a little 'Goldilocks table', a garden maze, bridges and forts. Maya was shocked and delighted to see the 'Little House' log cabin (she was certain that it was Laura, Mary, and Carrie's). She has asked to go back inside that cabin several times in the last few days.

But the butterflies themselves were the biggest hit of the day. She got to bring home a little plastic butterfly, her little 'Mariposa', from the gift shop which she has not slept a night since without.

Sophie slept all the way home, while Maya, on the other hand....

Sophie's expanding Vocabulary...

2009-04-18T18:52:00.000-07:00

...now consists of:

Bah (Ball)
Bah (Balloon)
Bah (Banana)
Bah Bah (Bye-bye)
Bah Bah (Bampa Bill)
Papa (Papa Corbin)
Mama (Mama) or (I WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU!!!)
Da-Da
Ayah (Maya)
Ehh!!! (I don't like what you're doing)
Ahh! (I just took a drink, and it was refreshing...and I know I'm cute)
Howww? (Hello?...when holding an object up to her ear as a phone)

and new this week.....

Wa-wa (water)

Maya this week.

2009-04-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

All week she's been 'Frank' and I've been 'Buster'.

Sophie is 'Koala' and Ryan is 'Ratchet'.

These characters are all loosely based on a show she watched when she stayed home with Nana and Papa while Sophie went to the ER. Though I think 'Ratchet' is a video game character? from a game Ryan has played a few times in the last month?

Frank and Buster are brothers who help each other a lot.

She's really strict about staying in character....though her 'Director' whims can be hard to predict or understand.

Tonight I told her a 'Frank and Buster' Story about Buster helping Frank who was stuck in the mud. The story ended with the brothers arguing "No, you're the best brother ever...."

(Don't judge me. I was tired...and these stories are requested aout 30 times a day.)

So of course, that's how we said good night, Frank and I. "No, you're the best brother ever." "No You are." "No You are." To which she finally replied with sparkling eyes..."Okay. I guess I am."

************************************

In the car last week when it was just the 2 of us:

"Dear Jesus. Please help 'Do Do' to have a baby. Amen."

That's 'GoGo'...grandma Gloria.

And she's pretty serious. She wants to give GoGo our baby bath, since we're done with it now...and she'll need it soon..."Cause Jesus is dunna dive her a baby! Remember Momma?? I prayed for Jesus to dive her a baby."

Watch out, Mom! :)

****************************************

While Ryan and I slept in the hospital with Sophia, Maya stayed one night with each set of grandparents. The second morning, she told Go Go with big eyes and a lot of importance "Momma slept with the DOCTOR!!"

****************************************

Earlier last week while Sophie was sick:

Maya: Momma. Sophie's ALL BETTER!!

Me: Well, she's getting better....which is good.

Maya: (thinking hard) Wwwwwich is good. Wwwwitches. good? Witches. Wwwwitches are yucky. And sometimes MEAN! ((I honestly have no idea where this opinion came from!))

Me: (laughing. To Ryan.) I'm gonna write that down.

Maya: What? What Momma?

Me: I'm going to write some of your words in my little book, Maya. I like them.

Maya: No! Don't do dat! I don't like it when you do dat. Don't take my words down.
I like them UP!

(sorry Maya. I took them down.)

oh. and...

2009-04-04T20:27:00.001-07:00

...I always forget to mark these things down.

Sophie has teeth. Just last month...3 came popping through!

March 5 was the first one (on the bottom)....it showed up as we traveled to Ohio to celebrate Uncle Andy's birthday. And the matching (also very crooked) tooth popped through about a week or two later. Now she has the two middle teeth on the bottom...so crooked that they form a little "V."

And one on top.

I always forget how new teeth change her appearance so.

...her appearance....and her mood!

It really must hurt.

note to self. remember these things.

2009-04-04T18:44:00.000-07:00

the way that Sophie wrinkles her nose and laughs by blowing in and out through her nostrils (especially when I'm trying to catch her!)
that Maya sometimes just randomly (and quite articulately) expresses gratitude for something we did long ago. And you can tell she's been thinking about it for a while.
the way you just want to smell and soak in the feeling of your babies' skin.
Sophie's little bottom in a diaper..and a onesie. Watching her eagerly crawl...so cute.
the immense pleasure and safety of spending time with really good friends (even if we all just watch the kids play...and share a few words).
the sound of Maya laughing and making Sophia squeal with laughter in her walker.
the ever-present obstacles of toys in your living room that annoy you but make you smile.
Maya's little bright pink Converse high tops.
Grandpa Andy getting down on all fours to play with his great-granddaughter, Sophie on the ground almost every time he sees her.
the sound of Maya's incessant chatter...all. day. long. :) imagining, acting out a dramatic plot, making up stories and scripts for all her little 'people' to play, gently scolding/correcting imaginary friends, requesting a drink--a snack--a show--a toy, singing loudly, explaining things to Sophie...
the way Maya lowers her head and looks up at people with a shy (closed mouth) smile when she's feeling happy and a little shy.
today..when Maya said: "Momma. I'd like some dum(gum) too, so I ten look pretty. (pause) (conspiratorial smile) Daddy dave me dum. It was behind da tar (car) at Bampa's. And dare was Isaac ann Will ann Untle Daniel. And Daddy DAVE ME DUM!!! (big open mouthed look of shared awe!!) Momma. Dat was an 'Island Story'. Now will you tell me an Island Story??"
the way that Maya runs around naked, wiggly and silly, and so very amused with herself.
Maya's constant question 'Is dat funny, Momma?'
the flash of love and contentment in Ryan's eyes when he's holding his girls.
the incredible new sense of awe and of 'freshness' of the Story of Jesus when you tell it to your own children.
that Sophie has tripled in her weight over the last 12 months....this is happening fast.
the way we hate it when Sophie throws her head back banging it on the back of her high chair over and over again...no matter how hard we try to stop her. She thinks it's hilarious.
the look in Sophie's eyes when she sees you walk into a room after you've been away.
that you are not just trying to get to the next thing...accomplish the next goal...be the next 'better version of yourself'.
that you forget just about everything that you hear or think or feel or see and don't write down. So be more intentional about remembering your days.

Celebrating Sophie...

2009-03-30T07:35:00.000-07:00

11 month Sophie

2009-03-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

(We all enjoyed the warm sunshine streaming in the window yesterday.)

She's been sick this week...an 'upper respiratory infection' which kept us all up too much. Now her sister has it...a pretty persistent fever and cough. But even sick, Sophie is...(I always use this word when I talk about her)...delightful.

Sophie is also becoming more assertive with her big sister. Any attempt on Maya's behalf to 'trade' toys...or to simply take Sophie's is now very loudly protested. But she's also quick to forgive. There doesn't seem to be anything that Maya can do to keep Sophie from gazing at her with deep admiration and delight.

She's so close to walking...still. She's been good on her feet for a few months now, but she thinks she still needs to hold on to something (though sometimes she stands alone if she 'forgets' that she isn't holding on).
She's always standing at the end of her crib when we come to get her in the morning (sometimes smiling widely and panting with excitement). We have to keep a gate at the bottom of the steps now, because she's actually proven herself capable (with close supervision, of course) of climbing all the way up our stairs. Making her way around any room takes about 3 seconds, and lately, she loves to crawl under the piano (which is against our house rules..and she knows it.) She always looks back over her shoulder at us, grinning (and sometimes squealing with laughter) as she crawls even faster away from us.

Sophie loves drinking water from a real cup or glass (and can even do it with her own two hands sometimes). And she's pretty aware of how adorable I think her refreshing "Ahhh!" whisper sound is when she finishes taking a sip.

Occasionally (though not at all consistently), she can point out her nose when asked, wave bye-bye, give kisses, say 'please' in sign language, say "Mama" when she wants me, and sometimes she likes to say "MA-YA" or "Yie-yah!".

Most of the time... she throws her arms up for a "SO BIG", claps her hands for patty-cake, dances charmingly to any music, points with her pointer finger, puts her own pacifier in when she wants it, sings "ha---", says "oooh", sits and listens attentively to a book (a short one), and lately...she really likes to dance!

I've been posting less here...

2009-02-16T12:22:00.000-08:00

...though my life is abounding with stories to tell about my children. It's just that I'm...

SO. TIRED.

Each day seems to be a chaotic, loud, exhausting, hilarious, fun, draining, ever-surprising, blur of confusion that seems to climax around dinner time. As the post-nap-time hunger rises, the house-hold volume increases with either whining, defiance, or absurd silliness.

Sometimes, dinner is incredibly peaceful, and fun, filled with stories from our day, stories from the Bible, cute antics, and kind words.
But sometimes it's less 'magical.'

Either way, once our meal is over, we just plow ahead towards bed-time as fast as we possibly can...trying to... clean up the kitchen, keep Sophie from climbing the stairs or eating everything in sight, play just a little bit more, change a diaper of a less-than-willing adorable monster, do pajamas, potty-time, milk, stories, and countless urgent requests from Maya-who-is-supposed-to-be-in-bed.

Then, Ryan and I usually collapse and look at each other with bewildered expressions, silently communicating our memories of quieter days.

Then, I reluctantly peel myself off the couch or the bed, put on my slippers and practice my violin in the basement. Though I have to do a lot of internal convincing to actually do this instead of going to bed, once I start, I really can't stop.

We'd never actually wish away these moments. We love them. Really.
We're just tired.

(sorry for the double post on both blogs. I thought I'd actually do both, but then....I was just too tired.)

my girls are becoming friends

2009-02-01T19:38:00.000-08:00

9 Month Sophie

2009-01-06T19:37:00.000-08:00

She's hilarious. Dancing, singing, crawling, and almost....walking. She loves to wiggle her shoulders up and down and side to side when she hears music. If you ask her how big she is, she loves to raise her arms to say "SO BIG".
Sophie and Maya are playing together now, standing at the doll house playing with the people (well, Sophie mostly chews on them).
Sophie always has a lot to say. And usually a smile for anyone.
She is pure delight.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

Between the many Corbin, Harmson, and Rudd 'Gatherings' we enjoyed a decadently long (but not quite long enough) visit with our Kirkland cousins, Philip & Joy, Nora, and Everly who all drove together from Philadelphia with Rachel, and Nicholas & Rebecca (We missed seeing Stephen and Hilda).
Having most of our family living close, we don't often get out of town visitors to spend the night at our little house. So we loved the happy noisy mornings...and the really late evenings (which lasted into the mornings) we spent story-telling, philosophizing, and laughing.

My mother's sister, Nancy (who is equally? fun, quirky, creative as her sister) also had three boys and a girl. So as we shared cousin stories we rediscovered how very similar our childhoods...and adult-hoods have been. But our families have always lived hours apart, usually in different states or countries. The one (or two) time(s) a year we did see our Kirkland cousins was full of offbeat, ingenious, uproarious merriment and usually produced some sort of fantastic video creation.
But we all grew up, went to college, and spread out...too far to see each other and too 'busy' to keep in touch. So getting the opportunity to get to know our cousins again (and all our spouses and children)...as adults was *really* fun.

And our children LOVED playing together...

Big Cousin Nora leading her band.

Maya and Everly looking to their "Drum Major" for musical direction.

A quieter cousin activity, reading time.

Maya and Everly....they shared the same due date, but Everly decided to come out a month earlier than Maya. They met once before, when they were babies...but this visit was the start of an intense new friendship.

Though the Maya-Everly hugs were plentiful over the long weekend, I never got a great picture of one with the camera.

Maya still asks if we should save a bagel or a snack for Everly...just in case.

Thursday:

Breakfast with our house-guests, then....
a quiet drive while the girls napped in the car.

Thanksgiving Dinner with Corbins.

Thanksgiving Dinner with Rudds.

Wild (and somewhat unsupervised) Cousin Fun

Friday:
Grandpa Andy's 90th Birthday Celebration.

The Harmson Thanksgiving at Cousin Sam's house.

Maya loves the attention of her very patient and doting cousin.... and all the dress up clothes!

And Sophia enjoyed being passed around to all her cousins, great aunts, and grandparents.
Someday, she'll know about her Great Aunt Jo's pie-baking talent.

It was one of those intensely-fun-but-not-quite-restful extended weekends that left us feeling happy, encouraged, exhausted, and very very Thankful.

And now...we're all excitedly anticipating the wonderful chaos of Christmas.

Very unique...

2008-11-19T17:11:00.000-08:00

...but definitely sisters.

Maya & Sophia & Bampa
October 31, 2008

Maya & Uncle Daniel
October 31, 2006

I guess crawling is getting boring.

2008-11-19T12:09:00.001-08:00

So...Sophie decided today to stand up. She was crawling towards her walker (which I just brought upstairs from the basement hours earlier) and I was across the room helping Maya get dressed, when I looked up... just in time to watch Sophie grab the top of her walker and pull herself up. She was so proud of her new ability. She even stood there...holding on with just one hand...(while chewing on a toy she held in the other hand) long enough for me to grab the camera and capture the moment on film. However, I don't usually post topless photos here (she was only wearing her diaper)....so you'll have to just enjoy the re-enacted photo version that happened later (when she was fully clothed).

...She's been happily growling a lot today too...I'm a little afraid of her strength.

She DID roll over on day 4.

Cinderella and her Fairy Godmother

2008-11-06T09:48:00.000-08:00

sweet seven month sophie

2008-10-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

Sophie just might be even more dramatic than Maya. She seems to savour extreme emotions. Wherever could that trait have come from?

When she is upset, her cry is heart-wrenching, her face conveying desperation, anger, betrayal, impatience, disapproval. And when she is amused or excited, her eyes shine and her delighted shrieks carry the exact sound of perfect happiness.

All other times, she is just plain loud. Yelling, babbling, grunting....waiting for someone, anyone to just look at her. If you are the lucky one that looks,... the smile you receive is (seriously) healing, pure contentment, wonder, love.

A few times this week, she's been waking up around 3AM... very unhappy, uncomfortable?, mad, hungry? Not fun.

Hopefully tonight is a peaceful one. Though I do kind of miss her, now that she's sleeping... I really need the sleep.

This video is from a couple of weeks ago (I might be 'stretching it' a bit to call this actual vocabulary development... but she DID say it:) ...she's actually crawling now too (you can see her eagerly rocking on all fours here)... a little unconventionally at times, and kind of slow, but definitely crawling.

aunt kelly's picture

2008-10-27T13:04:00.001-07:00

She said that she still remembered this pumpkin.

2008-10-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it?

2008-10-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

I'm six months old! (almost seven, really.)

.....................................................

Sophie is trying so hard to crawl. She loves to be on all fours (hands and toes, usually). Her best displays of strength and balance are in the perfect yoga "down dog" poses she frequently demonstrates. I haven't captured it on camera yet.
She likes to be up on her knees too, and often thrusts herself forward into a face plant...Rolling is still a far more effective mode of travel for her these days.

She's also gotten rather noisy. Her little voice is getting stronger and her vocabulary of sounds is growing too. Most often, she says, "Brrrrrrrrrr" her favorite raspberry blowing sound. But her discovery of consonant and vowel combinations is so fun to hear now "Bah-BAH-BA-BUH!" The one that melts my heart, though....is "MA-mmmuh-muh-MA."

The photos I've posted here don't reveal some of the most recent changes I've noticed in six-month Sophie. Food has started to bring out a more 'assertive Sophie' than I've seen before. She has this way of grunting/growling/screaming if the food isn't appetizing enough or dispensed fast enough. It's a different kind of sound than her crying/whining. It demands full attention. She uses her enormous eyes, opening them even wider to convey PANIC, URGENCY. Great. Displeasure.

We need to start working on "Please."

Sitting like a big girl....she's still pretty tipsy.

But she loves to stand and hold on to things.

Maya is really becoming a gracious, protective, loving, gentle (and sometimes bossy) big sister. Watching them love each other, and look at one another with such adoration and delight has to be one of the best gifts I've ever been given.

Mommy and Daddy are a little jealous, Bampa Bill...

2008-09-22T14:26:00.001-07:00

Little pleasures...

2008-09-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

...that we enjoyed everyday with baby Maya are harder to take advantage of the second time around. Maya is away for the night, with Nana and Papa. She was so happy and 'matter-of-fact' about leaving us. My reminder to be "a good...." "Obeyer" was quickly finished. To which she flippantly added, "Oh-tay. See ya, Mom. Oh-tay I doe now. Bye."

When I came home from playing in a wedding today, I found Ryan..and Sophie asleep on the couch. A sleeping baby on your chest....it doesn't get much better than that. We both agreed that we just don't get to do that enough.

We took her to Target tonight. I didn't realize how much of my attention is usually diverted on such adventures. She just stared at us, admiring us. Happily looking for...anything. A smile, a look. Attention. She is just too sweet.
Sophie is so generous with her smiles and delightful squeals. I hope I'm not taking them for granted.

"Dot it, Mom?"

2008-09-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

Maya is definitely two.

Full of opinions, certainty, and will.

Lately, she's picked up my condescending tone. She loves to order me around, telling me what to do and say. It's terrible and also really funny.

I think that maybe four hundred times a day, I say something like, "Could I hear that in a kind voice, please?" or "Hm. I'd like to help a girl that uses kind words.".

Some recently heard phrases that I'd like to correct for the future, but never want to forget....

In the car on Saturday: "I want milk, Mom. Momma! Dad! I NEED MILK. Hey.
You unnerstann d(g)uys?? You unnerstand??"

Monday morning: As I cut the last whole wheat waffle in half to share with her...(she's already eaten 3 or 4)
"NO, NO Mom. Don't tut it!!! Jesus dave it to us! To ME. He dave it to ME."

Everyday: "Hi Arfur. What you DOIN' Arfur?! You ridin' a tarousell, Arfur?? What's his name, Arfur??"

At first I thought I was 'Arthur'....so I'd reply with, "Hi, Maya. I'm Arthur. Yes, I'm riding the carousel, Arthur. Who are you?"

No. SHE is Arthur. And I am supposed to say "Hi Arthur. What you doin' Arthur?...."
The script continues. It's rather repetitive. And it lasts all day long.

It's difficult to keep up with the imaginary character she is pretending to be. It changes every few days, or minutes, or even mid-sentence. But lately she's decided that she'd like to script our conversations. Sometimes we're 'Cinderella and the Fairy Dodmuvver'. Sometimes we're 'Dus and Jatt', you know, the mice. Or maybe 'Arfur and'...his friend? Today she's been cousin Jared who recently had a birthday. So I watch her open her 'birff-day presents' over and over again.

Coming when she is called has been our most recent...project. We're working on it. A lot.

Sometimes, when I call her to come, she'll obey, but she'd like for it to be on HER terms.

I say, "Come here, Maya. Hurry. Hurry and obey, Maya."

And she replies in her best motherly tone with, "Tum here, Arfur. Hurry, Arfur. Hurry and obey, Arfur!" (Waits. Mischevious smile.)

2008-08-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

the cabin

2008-08-18T11:38:00.000-07:00

The girls shared a room for the first time, Maya on the bottom bunk (where I always slept as a little girl)...and Sophie on the top. Well, maybe someday she'll sleep on the top. Sophie actually slept in the crib next to the bunk beds.

I like to think about the summers they will spend together here, canoing, building, exploring, imagining, reading, sleeping in bunks...or maybe sharing the attic room.

This cabin trip, though very different from past cabin stays, was still refreshing, invigorating, decadent. We tried not to eat as much ice-cream as we often do (and we were successful, I might add, except for one ridiculously large cone of chocolate chip cookie dough that Ryan got for me). But we did enjoy opulent breakfasts of eggs, veggie sausage, toast, and hazelnut coffee every morning by the crackling fire. We read (I even finished 2 books) on the new deck and in the hammock, we strolled the shops in Cedarville, Hessel, and St. Ignace (this time on the hunt for a potty much of the time), we walked through the woods, Maya and Ryan explored the bay in the canoe, we found two wonderful playgrounds, drove along the breathtaking coast to Detour, wandered on dirt roads and 2-tracks to find the Raber Bay Inn for pizza, fell in love again with the Cedarville library (this time with the amazing children's section...which puts Norton Shores to shame), stayed up late watching some Olympics and Paris, je t'aime and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
The Creekside Gallery. My new favorite upnorth shop/garden. It is rather magical. I also noticed a massage table? Hm...an idea for future cabin trips.

Ryan and Maya navigating their birch-bark canoe. Ryan meticulously sewed the bark we found in the woods to make the perfect canoe, sealing it with glue for sea-worthiness.

As we leave Grandma and Grandpa's house...

2008-07-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

"You tummin' right bat, mom? Oh-tay. Byeee. You duys. You duys be tareful!"

Four Month Sophie

2008-07-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

Her smiles make life seem more optimistic. But so full of consequence.
Her happiness makes me feel lighter, while my love for her is painfully heavy.

Mmmadeline....Adeline tummin over??

2008-07-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

I've been hearing this question a lot lately....ever since Maya and Addy had a fun morning together on Monday.

Later in the day, Ryan asked Maya if she and Addy had talked about anything interesting. Maya, rightly, said 'Milk.' That was a big part of their conversation. Their babies really needed a lot of milk.

The Mayan Language

2008-07-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

No, not this one.

My Maya's language.

Some of my favorites phrases lately....

"Ow 'bout....milk." or "Ow 'bout more" or ...."Ow 'bout______" (insert really anything that she wants. Sometimes it's used as a response...to argue for her preference instead of what I've told her will happen.) This phrase is used several times daily. It's a favorite right now. Still,
I was surprised a few weeks ago while we were walking up the stairs, counting each step as always. (Sometimes we count in Spanish, other times in French, but most often we count in English.) On this particular trip up the steps, I was saying "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq,..." and suddenly, she interrupted with "Ow 'bout Eendlish....Ow 'bout Eendlish, Mom. Oh-tay?"

So I'm a little overzealous when it comes to exposing my girls to other languages. I was obsessed with learning French just before Maya was born. Since I knew she'd never have the 'optimal' advantage of living in a truly bi-lingual house...I wanted to cram as much as possible to make up for my lack of linguistic knowledge.

We have a great book from the library (in fact, we just renewed it because it's one of our favorites these days). It's a rhyming book of Spanish vocabulary. Since we've been reading it, I've started 'conversing' with Maya (in my very rusty and limited Spanish from high-school) to reinforce what she picks up so quickly from the book.
We play the "Donde esta ___?" game. And she points to her 'narriz', or 'boca', 'ojos', or 'manos.'
She loves to ask us "You my Madre? You my Padre?" And sometimes when I tuck her in at night, I say "Goodnight my little Maya." And she shyly responds with ..."I'm hija (daughter)".

She's staring to learn how to give a shoulder rub. Sitting behind Ryan or I on the couch, she often grabs our shoulders and gently squeezes. This could be really good, I think.
Sometimes, when she's especially affectionate and cudly, she wraps her arms around my neck, and in a very motherly gesture...she begins to gently stroke my face or my hair. She looks me right in the eyes and says sweetly " 'dat feels nice, Mom?? You lite 'dat?"

We've been working on using kind words. The demanding "I WANT _____" voice has started since the 2nd birthday. Much of the time, she puts together very polite and articulate sentences to voice her desires, express gratitude or happiness, or tell a 'story'. Sometimes, though, we cringe when we hear what she's 'picked up' from who-knows-where. Like "OH shoot!"

We're not sure where "OH my DOSH!!" came from. Despite our valiant efforts to suppress or hide our amusement, she knows it's hilarious and cute and she loves the response she gets with this one. We've tried to soften it to "Oh my doodness" which seems a slightly more fitting exclamation for a 2-year-old.

When she's asked for an opinion, I love it best when she wrinkles up her nose, puckering and twisting her lips as she nods her head saying "Yeah. Mmm-hm. Yup."

When did she turn 15?

Sophie

2008-06-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

She's sitting in her swing now...broadly smiling at me. She's also creating a very loud rumbling sound in her diaper.
In the last few weeks, she seems so much older. Smiling most of the time...if she's not angry or sleeping. And she's becoming a little more demanding of our attention. Sometimes she yells and grunts with this scolding look of frustration and annoyance....until we look at her and smile. She just has a lot to express. And it's important...even urgent that someone listens.

I have a little shirt that says '3 Months.' I can't believe it's almost time to get it out of the drawer.

We love our Daddy.

2008-06-15T05:36:00.000-07:00

Happy Fathers Day!

Love,
Maya and Sophie

2 months old

2008-05-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month...

2008-05-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

...Maya turned two! And we celebrated all weekend.

On the morning of May 2nd, Ryan and I went upstairs to get our happy little 'Birthday Girl' out of bed. As we opened the door and started singing, we saw Maya already sitting up in bed, beaming at us. We felt like she had just been waiting there, happily, anxiously,...knowing what day it was. Expecting something wonderful. The smile lasted for most of the day.

The birthday breakfast...

A visit from Great Grandma Marge delivering some cream of tartar to help Maya bake her first cookies, "French Buttercream"...

A special present from Mommy and Daddy opened during Daddy's lunch break...

When Ryan came home from work, we discovered (after a long drive to Grand Rapids) that Frederick Meijer Gardens had already closed for the night...just minutes earlier than we had arrived. So instead of seeing 'The Butterflies' as planned, we took our first trip to the 'Build-a-Bear' store. After receiving her special 'Birthday sticker', Maya chose her bunny, 'helped' (watched) as she was stuffed with a tiny heart and lots of fluff, 'bathed' her in the giant bath tub, chose a dress for her, and named her "Massachusetts".
Not sure what kind of expense/time commitment/complicated activity/chaos at the mall we were getting ourselves into, we were pleasantly surprised to have a very nice evening, returning home from Grand Rapids early enough for a decent bed-time.

The celebration extended through Saturday (when I was so sick while shopping with Sophie for the party, that I threw up in the check-out line at Meijer and nearly passed out) as we prepared for Maya's Birthday Party the next day. Nana, Papa, Go-Go, and Bampa came over and helped so much on Saturday night (while I mostly laid miserably on the couch all day making requests for furniture to be moved, floors to be vacuumed, children to be bathed, and food to be made). By Sunday, I felt fine with even enough appetite to enjoy the burgers Ryan grilled and the wonderful salads made by family.

Besides Maya, the other 'guest of honor' at the party...
...was Elmo.

Aunt Marianne, the artist/baker, brought him...an exquisite (and delicious) cake that she carefully designed, baked, carved, and decorated.

She's really 2 now. She loves to announce, "I'm two!" as she holds up her hands...all ten fingers spread before you.
She's two and she loves her sister. She loves to color, to make 'lines' and 'circles.' She loves to 'read' and she loves the library. Today, her favorite books are Curious George, Madeline, Olivia, and Goldilocks. She uses the potty and wears 'big girl underpants' all day every day. She can tear apart a room in about 2 seconds. But she's also learning to 'clean up' a little too. She likes to act out her stories and expects everyone in sight to participate. She is VERY assertive at times, and she is learning to be gracefully articulate. She still loves Elmo and occasionally enjoys singing "Sunny day, sweepin' the clouds away" at the top of her lungs. If you are near her when a song comes to mind, she'll like it if you sing it with her. But if you are too timid or polite, she might just say, 'Sing it LOUD!'

Two is fun. It's also sometimes quite 'terrible.' But we love it anyway.

She's seven weeks now.

2008-05-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

And starting to look older. Sometimes, those intense... blue Corbin-Harmson eyes just seem to have an uncanny awareness/wisdom behind them.
She's starting to respond to our voices with smiles so much more. Today, we played peek-a-boo, and she was mildly amused.

She seems to be in awe of Maya. Maybe a little frightened sometimes too :) But she loves when Maya gets close to her face and talks to her in her sweet big sister voice. "Hi Sophie. Hi Sophia. Hi baby. 'Wate' up? Sophie? Touch arm? Sophie? (G)dood job, Sophie! You did it!"

I love that they have each other.

Inspired by a great new book from Great Aunt Colleen

2008-05-09T05:49:00.002-07:00

In this little board book by Michelle Sinclair Colman, they also...
"...drink latte,
...do yoga,
...enjoy architecture,
...attend the opera,
...and take taxis at the end of a busy day."

Maya is pretty sure that she is an 'Urban Baby' now.

May I Daddy?

2008-05-01T06:25:00.000-07:00

Uncle Sean was impressed when Maya requested more 'mozzarella' at dinner one night. Four-syllable words just sound so cute when you're almost two.
When we told Maya that Kelly and Sean were going back to Massachusetts, apparently she didn't forget that four-syllable word either. It used to be... that the only 'far away' trip request she ever made was 'Ohio' (where most of the other people we love go back to).

One of our favorite rhymes...

2008-05-01T06:08:00.003-07:00

I think Bampa was the first to teach her this one. It's one of the special games they share.

We like to sing all the songs and rhymes we know at meal time. I love it!

First smiles....

2008-04-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

These were taken when she was just one week old.
I think she was dreaming...and passing gas.

But these bigger smiles only happened when I'd sing "So--PHI-a."

Now she's starting to smile a little even when she's awake. This was just this week...right after a bath. I love her hair when it's soft and clean...it's just so puffy and wild. I think she likes it too.

I have three pillows.

2008-04-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

And they each perform unique and essential functions. Despite my narcoleptic tendencies while riding in a car, I must have these three pillows to sleep comfortably in a bed.
There's my firm 'head pillow', my slightly-less-firm 'leg pillow', and my beloved 'fluffy.'

I don't think I had any one particular 'comfort object' as a child...no 'blankie,' or 'soft,' or special 'bear.' Maya has several, There's 'white soft' and 'pink soft.' 'Loopy.' 'Lyssa,' 'Amy,' and 'Sasha.' 'Monkey.' And recently...'hairbrush'. (Yes, most nights...all of these objects are in bed with her.)

As an adult, I think I may have developed a similar kind of attachment. My 'Fluffy' is irreplaceable. It comes with me when I travel. It's really hard to fall asleep without holding it (I think this is mostly because it helps keep my shoulders and arms supported). But this perfectly soft and airy pillow still gives me nightmares. I think it's the frightening new responsibility of another (terrifyingly fragile) life...and the inevitable lack of sleep that comes with any newborn...but it's happening to me again just like it did two years ago.

Maya's New Favorite Sport...

2008-04-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we added a very special option for our outdoor fun.

First I had to teach Maya how to celebrate when she scored...

For the most part, she had a pretty good kick... I will admit that she prefers the throw-in method - which I'm pretty sure isn't legal.

But we couldn't spend too much time outside because we really missed our mommy and new sister.

four days old.

2008-04-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

Our doctor saw this video and was pretty impressed and happy to record this milestone in her chart at her five day check-up. He suggested we try giving her an Algebra book.

I think I'd rather start her on Tolstoy or maybe Victor Hugo. We're just not 'math people.'

It was pretty much love at first sight...

2008-04-02T07:33:00.001-07:00

...even though the 11-minute-old Sophia was still pretty slimy.

But the next morning, Maya came bounding in with her wild pig tails, smiling broadly "where's So-phi-a? Where's 'dat baby?" Then she stretched out her arms and said, "Sister. Hode her."

I didn't really cry much at all at for the first couple of days. But on the car ride home, everything started to hit me... fear, unbelievable happiness, inadequacy, heartbreaking love, overwhelming worry, exhaustion, fear....
So the night we all came home from the hospital, I was feeling pretty weepy. We were having our first 'story time' all together in Maya's room before bed. And Maya got to hold her. She very sweetly started talking to her in a soft voice..

"Sophia. Baby sister. Aww. (and pointing carefully) Tiny toes. Tiny hands. Eyes. Nose. Little mouth. Sophie." (gentle kiss)

I cried some more.

Welcome...

2008-03-29T06:41:00.000-07:00

...Our Sophia Marie Elise. She showed up last night at 7 PM on the dot. How punctual!

38 Weeks

2008-03-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

...still waiting.

I hope there is no 40 week picture to post.

Two weeks, nine stickers, and three elmo shows...

2008-03-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so proud. But this seems to be a very constant, up and down struggle. Well worth it. But very exhausting.

Good work, Maya-bear.

It's official...

2008-03-17T11:35:00.001-07:00

I'm glue-ing the fabric to the wood today. Then we'll just have to decide where to hang it.

When I asked the ultrasound tech if she was really sure, she just looked at me. And then added, 'honey, it isn't going to change at this point.'

We had one more ultrasound today...to check for growth. I was worried when the doctor ordered another one to check the baby's size after asking me questions like, "Do you remember being this small with Maya?" and "How much did Maya weigh when she was born?"
But according to her measurements today, she already weighs 6.2 pounds. Not bad for still having three more weeks to grow! :)

Maybe it was silly to find out now...only weeks (or maybe days??) away from her arrival. But I'm so happy to finally allow my mind to daydream about Maya and her sister...to imagine what SHE will look like, act like. To talk to HER and about HER....rather than always using the cumbersome 'he or she', 'the baby', and even worse... 'it.'

"love you, baby"

2008-03-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite sounds lately. Maya's sweet words to her baby brother or sister.

36 weeks

2008-03-11T21:26:00.000-07:00

I don't want to forget what today was like.

2008-03-07T18:27:00.000-08:00

Maya and I always love Friday. It's one of our special days of 'just us' together. I'm starting to realize that there probably aren't going to be many more days of just Maya and me...at least not very often. So I'm trying to hold on somehow to these incredible moments. Trying to fully enjoy sleeping until 7:30 or 8:00 and waking to happy chatter upstairs, all the extra long messy meals, the 400 stories before nap time, the very funny conversations we have about everyone and everything...especially while Maya sits on the potty.

But today...we got to see a lot of other special people too.
After breakfast with Daddy at our kitchen table, we got all ready to visit Grandma 'Go-Go' and hear Kayla play her violin (rehearsing her recital piece with her accompanist), then we took 'Go-Go' to Russ' for lunch, and rushed to meet Daddy at the office of our beloved 'Dot-ter Tarnes' (Dr. Karnes) where we were very happy to see 'Joyce too!!! Oh! Yay!' (she's our favorite nurse at the office). We found out that Sophie...or Ian is probably just a little smaller than her big sister was, and is 'very low'...(my wishful interpretation= 'almost ready to come out').

On our way home, we stopped at the 'lie-libe' to return our books, play with the kitchen, meet a new friend (Collin), and get some new books to bring home. After naptime, and some extra long cuddle time in the rocking chair, we got to go to the big blue house to eat a delicious pasta dinner with Isaac, Will, Willow, Ginger, Katie, Daniel, Great-Nanna, and Aunt Jen.

One special song, 2 prayers, a cup of milk, and 400 more stories later...(actually just 3 long ones) Maya is finally asleep in the room next to me. Sometimes, in the hours leading up to bedtime, I start longing for it's arrival...just to rest. But now, I kind of miss her.

the things that make me really happy...

2008-03-06T17:40:00.000-08:00

Maya's been really working on using the potty. She talks about it all the time. She knows what it's for....she knows when she needs to use it. She talks about her "big" friends and cousins who don't wear diapers any more and use the potty instead. In fact, up until last Sunday, she'd had success about 4 times...

...since last November!
I know this is great...she's not even two yet, but really....once a month????
I am a rather patient person. I don't have enough patience for this.

If I didn't have such great company....so many funny conversations, songs, and silly faces to make me laugh...I think I'd go crazy from sitting in the bathroom for hours each week. With so little encouragement to keep me motivated. We just never seem to get the timing right.

But...since the creation of "Maya's Potty Chart" this week. She's already earned three stickers (that's better than all of November, December, and January!) in just five days. Hope.

She really knows how to make her Mom happy.

contractions

2008-03-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

I was a little frightened Saturday morning around 1 AM, when a surprisingly strong contraction woke me. I was even more afraid as I nudged Ryan ten minutes later to 'calmly' informed him that I was writhing in pain with another, even stronger one.

This continued for two and a half hours...with me whining about the pain, but whining even more about the bad timing. I just kept saying, I can't do this yet. The baby isn't ready, the lungs aren't strong enough. Our insurance is switching this weekend. The room isn't painted, my students aren't ready, my sub plans aren't ready...I don't even know for sure who the sub is going to be!! My recital isn't for two more weeks. The baby clothes aren't even washed or packed. I'm not packed. The dirty laundry is piled up in our hamper and the clean laundry is still in baskets waiting to be folded. I haven't even shaved my legs! And my mom is out of town tonight!

And as the contractions continued to come, stronger and closer together...I realized the futility of my wishing. And I started to truly understand that I have absolutely no control over this.

Maya's birth sort-of set me up for some high expectations about how this will happen. The day before she came, I obsessively cleaned my house. When I went to bed, I had just showered, lotioned my legs, and painted my toe nails, put clean sheets on our bed. The laundry was all done, everything was spotless. Her bag and mine had been packed for weeks. My substitute was already scheduled to start the next day. And that night...she came, quickly, easily, perfectly. I even had make-up on...and my hair curled!

I think I may need to rethink my expectations for how baby #2 may arrive. But while I wait, I've started remedying some of the things I can control.

The laundry is done.
The baby's clothes are washed.
My bag is packed.
Baby's bag is packed.
The room is about half painted.
And my sub plans are almost completely written.

So maybe we're just obnoxious doting parents...

2008-02-26T18:26:00.000-08:00

...but we were pretty impressed.

Maya was in a particularly fun mood today when she came home from Grandma Go-Go's house. After bringing me the guitar and asking me to play, she strummed for a while too. We decided it might be a fun time for a 'violin lesson.' The instrument is still a little big...it's an 1/8 size. We're not really taking this 'seriously' enough to look for a 1/16 any time soon. But it's fun to experiment just for fun...

34 weeks

2008-02-25T11:55:00.001-08:00

only six weeks to go....
(or less)

My babycenter website told me that at 34 weeks...

"Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which she'll need to regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies."

I'm close to being ready to leave my classes at school. Final details are falling into place. Passing three different performing groups to a substitute a month before a musical and a concert is somewhat cruel, but I'm hoping my kids will be ready and make it an 'easy' job for my sub.

Ryan worked so hard over the weekend to finish painting in our staircase. Now almost every room is painted and settled in our house. Only two bathrooms and the baby's room remain. I really managed to avoid a lot of work by discovering that I was pregnant the weekend that we moved. And I actually like to paint.

That 'nesting' instinct is heightening my desire/need to have everything ready in our house. I am very aware that I could drive Ryan crazy with my expectations and sense of urgency. He is so patient. And I keep making lists of all the ways we need to be 'ready.' Whatever that means. I know we can't be. But I just want to be ready now for the impending hospital stay, ready to leave my classes with their substitute, ready with an organized and clean house, ready with a room for the baby, ready with Maya potty trained (this is looking less likely lately, though she's had sporadic success for months now), ready to take care of another newborn.....

Despite my impatience and my constant 'wishing away' these next few weeks, this kind of waiting is wonderful. Who is this person that will be mine (though not really mine, I know) for life? This person will call me mother and we will be connected forever. And I don't even know who he (or she) is yet.

I feel too lucky in my waiting. A lot of people in my life are waiting...to see how broken relationships will be mended or not, to know if and when they will have a child of their own, to know the severity of the cancer, to find out if the heart surgery will heal their new baby boy. They are waiting with much at stake, and still full of hope. My waiting seems trifling.

And my rambling reveals the current state of my mind.

Last night I dreamed that the baby's foot was pushing so hard on my skin that it was stretched thin enough to see through. The sun was streaming in the window enough to shine through to the baby. I couldn't believe that I was seeing 'her' (in my dream it was a girl) foot, her toes. But when I looked closer, I realized that my skin on my whole belly was as transparent as a screen... I could see her thick, curly brown hair and her whole body curled up. I felt almost guilty that I was able to catch a glimpse of her before it was time. She was beautiful.

Only six more weeks. (or less)

in Maya's blue room

2008-02-19T10:11:00.000-08:00

32 (and a half) weeks

2008-02-13T16:28:00.001-08:00

...and way too many mashed potatoes for dinner :) owww.

A picture of the baby....as promised.

2008-02-06T13:24:00.000-08:00

But you've already seen this one.

The ultrasound technician was so busy taking her measurements and trying to tell us the gender...we didn't get any new pictures to bring home. She couldn't take any pictures of the baby's face...or even take measurements of the baby's head because it is already so far down. Which explains my immense discomfort..there's a little skull prying my hips apart!

And as for any new revelations or confirmations of baby's gender...

...we found out that our baby is...

Very modest. And very stubborn.

(This picture is not Baby Corbin...I just found it in google images. But this is the position in which our baby stayed for the entire ultrasound. And I stayed on that table for a long time...poking and prying and begging Sophie or Ian to move.)

So besides being a little upset when the Ultrasound Tech gave up and kicked us out :)
...I was very happy to know that our baby seems to be a very healthy four pound person with a strong beating heart and plenty of fluid to swim around in.

30 weeks

2008-01-29T14:40:00.000-08:00

Not too much difference.

But next monday, I'll have better pictures. Ones of Sophie! (or Ian!) We have another ultrasound scheduled to 'measure growth' (and I'm hoping to maybe get a more definitive answer about the gender). I really want to get the room painted...so I can start washing clothes and putting them in drawers... nailing letters to the wall...

or...

sewing a more 'masculine' crib set... and buying some clothes for Ian.

28 weeks

2008-01-16T18:45:00.000-08:00

January is halfway gone.

2008-01-15T18:21:00.000-08:00

Only 12 weeks to go...or less.

I haven't written enough. I haven't recorded my thoughts here or anywhere enough. I haven't taken the regular pictures of my rapidly growing belly. (Note to self: must do that SOON.)

But Sophie, (or Ian) I am longing to meet you... You've been kicking so often now. Sometimes your wild squirming wakes me in the night. And I smile. I don't usually smile when someone wakes me in the night...no matter how much I love them.

Sometimes, in the middle of the day I lose my focus on what is in front of me because I'm mesmerized by the feeling of you...rolling around, stretching, hiccuping, kicking, tapping. I read today that you can open and close your eyes now. That you have little eyelashes. I can't wait to feel them fluttering against my cheek. That's one of Maya and my favorite games. I'm sure she'll love to teach you the art of 'butterfly kissing.'

Your furniture has been in place in your room for almost a month now. Soon I'll start re-washing and organizing the tiny baby clothes that have been packed away since Maya outgrew them. And I'll put them in your drawers. I've been painting the letters to put on your wall...looking through magazines and catalogs...clipping pictures...and dreaming about how to make the little bedroom upstairs YOURS. I don't know you yet, not really. You are still a mystery to me, to all of us. I'm sure that in many ways you will always hold great mystery...growing, changing and revealing yourself to me in different ways as long as I am alive. But now I am waiting just to see your face...to look into your eyes for the first time. And even with so many unknowns about you...I love you. With that painful kind of love that makes breathing difficult sometimes.

'a supp-ize!'

2007-12-08T07:56:00.000-08:00

As Ryan was putting Maya into the car yesterday, they were 'secretly' talking about the 'surprise' in the bag in the car. Ryan was telling Maya, "now, don't tell Mama about the surprise we got at the store for her for Christmas. Remember the present in that bag?? It's a secret. We'll bring it in the house when we get back and wrap it." As I got into the car, I said, "Maya, do you have a surprise for Mama?"
With her very serious, big eyes she said "supp-ize....inn-nair."
I really like surprises. I hate ruining them. But without expecting true details, just to continue the conversation... I asked, "Maya, what's in there? What's the surprise?"

"Brace," she said proudly. "Supp-ize." Big smile.
Ryan wearily shook his head and sighed, both of us laughing. Yes, it's a bracelet.

But apparently she tried to trick me, to save some of the suspense... by claiming that it's 'yellow.'

This morning, I've been cleaning up the office/Sophia's room.... For a while, Maya kept yelling "OH! OH! OH!" out in the hallway. She chatters a lot these days....so I didn't really stop to wonder too much...until she wandered in and handed me this puzzle piece.

And just now, when I looked for the 'O' to take those pictures.... it was gone. I asked her to get that 'O' for me again. And amongst all her books, random puzzle pieces and toys, she brought it to me again.

Scary.

22 weeks are gone, only 18 (or fewer) remain...

2007-12-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

...until Sophia arrives.

She now looks like a miniature newborn, at 10.9 inches and almost 1 pound. Her skin will continue to appear wrinkled until she gains enough weight to fill it out, and the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her head and body is now visible. Her lips are becoming more distinct, and the first signs of teeth are appearing as buds beneath her gum line. Her eyes are developed, though the iris (the colored part of the eye) still lacks pigment. Eyelids and eyebrows are in place, and her pancreas, essential for hormone production, is developing steadily.

Our doctor told us today that the ultrasound pictures from November looked perfect. Sophie's developing organs look just right. He also told me that the 8 pounds I've gained so far were good too...that 10 are actually recommended by now, so I've stopped feeling fat for today :)

I just feel so much 'bigger' than I felt with Maya. Probably the fact that my muscles had just over a year to go back to where they belong and back into shape... makes my now five-month pregnant 'belly' less able to hide Sophie as I could Maya.

I wish I had more time to just sit and think about Sophie's arrival. It doesn't really seem like it's only 18 weeks away! My mind is unable to focus on much beyond the many upcoming deadlines and performances ahead for Christmas.
But in just 9 more school days (3 weeks), I'll be home with Ryan and Maya, celebrating Christmas, enjoying visits from far away siblings, and dreaming about April.

For now though, I have a program order to type, several forms to fill out, a kitchen to clean, a diaper bag to pack for the morning, and a bed that is calling my name.

Meeting Maya's Sibling...

2007-11-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it could ever get old to watch a tiny person moving around inside of my body. It just seems so strange and surreal and amazing to see tiny arms and legs pushing and kicking on a computer screen a few feet away..and feel that very squirming person inside my body at the same time. After seeing lots of incredible glimpses of wiggling arms, legs, a beating heart....and waiting patiently as the ultrasound technician took meticulous measurements of heart rate, head, abdomen, each bone in the legs, all from a few different angles... we suddenly saw a beautiful glimse of our daughter's profile. And Ryan and I both gasped. As the technician froze the shot, she began to label the frame, typing..."Kidney" or some official medical abbreviation. We laughed. Apparently she wasn't looking at the same thing that we were when she took the picture. And it didn't come out quite as clearly as what we first saw...what seemed to us to look a lot like Maya's ultrasound profile shots.
But we're still in awe of her (and even if we missed something and it's actually 'him'...we'll still be in awe) and are thoroughly enjoying the first few pictures we have of her face.

Meet Sophia...
This is the first time we saw her profile...(or at least this is the best, though inadequate, still shot from that moment)

I could really feel her feet pushing against me...

The 3D didn't turn out as clearly as with Maya's...Sophie just wouldn't stay still long enough for good pictures...
...but her little fist is pretty clear in this one...

2007-11-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

...it was Grandpa Andy!

Grandma Marge was there too....and a puppy, like me!

When we came home, I sat on my front porch to pass out candy. But only my next-door neighbor 'Mo-Mo' (Morgan) came. I gave her a lot of candy.

Then, we went to Noah's house to play with Noah and Ryan's 'choo-choo.'

puppy maya went trick or treating...

2007-11-15T17:24:00.000-08:00

Who was behind that door?

Next post coming soon. I think I might go to bed now..even though it's only 8:30.

tomorrow...

2007-11-01T16:04:00.001-07:00

...we'll have another morning together at home.

I can't wait.

Since 'feeding the ducks,'...

2007-10-28T17:57:00.001-07:00

..I've really grown up.
For example, Chaim Potok has replaced 'Goodnight Moon.' Well, almost replaced it. I still like to read that one three or four times a day.

But I've grown in other ways too. I now prefer spoons and forks over using my fingers...most of the time.

I've been practicing a lot more lately. Since I decided to pull the 'rock-rock' chair over to the piano, it's been easier to use the pedals and play at the same time. It was just so hard to play expressively without the 'sustain' pedal.

I also really love to 'hang out' in Barnes & Noble now. I guess it's the books, the coffee, and the hushed conversations reflecting on great literature and new ideas...
...or maybe I just like the 'Choo-Choo.'

But my biggest new trick involves the potty. . . (I've used it twice now!) . . .and lots of stickers. This one seems to make Mom and Dad the happiest.

This is my 'peek peek' cupboard. I spend a lot of time here during the day...playing, re-arranging, reading, relaxing, drinking my water.

A few saturdays ago, my cousin Emma took me to the park while cousin 'Lee-Lee' played soccer.

Isaac and Will even came too!

..we've been busy.

feeding the ducks

2007-10-15T16:30:00.001-07:00

By Saturday, the air was crisp and cold...a perfect fall day for finding pumpkins and sipping fresh apple cider (though I abstained to avoid ecoli).

But on Monday...
...it was summer. And we enjoyed one last picnic in Grand Haven in the 80 degree sun. It felt magical, to walk in October through fallen yellow leaves, sipping an icy blended coffee drink, sweating in the hot sun. We visited the Art Gallery downtown, the toy store, and the deli to buy some bread to feed the ducks.

One of our favorite stories these days has a picture of ducks in a park. For the past month or so, whenever we get to *the* page, we pause and 'throw some bread to the ducks' (ever since our last picnic...where a few left over crumbs were thrown to the ducks in the water). So with all of that practice, Maya turned out to be rather proficient at feeding the ducks. We blew them *lots* of kisses and waved for quite a while when it was time to go home.